NEW YORK - Voter ID requirements could stifle voter turn-out among Dead Americans, warned Rep. Adam Schiff. It's hard enough for post-mortal Americans to reach polling places from 6 feet under or to re-assemble their bodies from scattered ashes. The requirement that all voters show ID in person before voting is as every much an outrage as "separate, but equal", he explained as he encompassed his neck with his thumb and forefinger. Schiff is a part of a growing chorus condemning voter ID requirements. The ACLU tweeted that all Americans, regardless of pulse, have a right to vote. Meanwhile, the Association of Trans-Dead Americans was equally vocal in denouncing the requirements. "As a man who identifies as a long dead pharaoh, I deal with enough hardships, such as random people yanking on my mummy bandages to spin me around," said Imhotep IV of Toledo, Ohio. Members of the same group protested the Toledo GOP office with a haunt-in, whereby they donned bed sheets, milled around, and made "Ooooooo" noises at passers-by.
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