The Merchant of Tennis

It is little known that before he invented the famous swimming pool game that bears his name, Marco Polo was a traveling salesman. Specifically, he sold toys and games in far-flung foreign faires. Once while returning from Timbuktu, he was shipwrecked then kidnapped by pirates. As bad luck would have it, he was then sold into slavery, and so was taken on the long Silk Road all the way to Kublai Khan's Karakorum. Karakorum of course, was the capital of the great emperor Kublai Khan, grandson of the conqueror Genghis Khan. 

Marco Polo decided he would be most comfortable in Kublai Khan's court, so he began juggling and doing magic tricks in the street whenever he had a spare moment. He convinced his master that he could make far more money for him as a court jester, and so was granted permission to audition in the palace. Before the great Kublai Khan and all his lords, ladies, ministers, and mandarins, Marco Polo juggled, tumbled, danced, pranced, mimed, and otherwise so thoroughly charmed his audience that even Kublai Khan rose from his throne to applaud him. 

"Well done, stranger", said Kublai Khan. "Tell me your name and where you come from." 

"Your majesty, my name is Marco Polo and I come from a faraway city called Genoa. I have spent many years traveling the world to sell my wares."

"Your journeys and your troubles are over, for you will spend the rest of your days here as my personal entertainer. That is, unless you can...well, come, let me show you to my private study."

Marco Polo was taken aback while he was taken back. While Kublai Khan seemed like a decent enough fellow, he certainly didn't want to spend his whole life entertaining him, much less never see his friends and family back in Genoa ever again. The study was ornate and candle-lit. The walls were covered in banners with strange writing scrawled upon them. In the middle of the room, was a small table with net stretched across the middle. On each side of the net, was what looked like a paper fan, except it was all wood. Marco Polo instantly recognized it as some kind of two-player game, but the ball was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, Kublai Khan tapped his shoulder. When Marco Polo turned, he saw the great khan holding a small, gilded chest. It like the sort of thing a pirate gnome would own. 

"Marco Polo of Genoa, you don't know me, but I know you. I want to play a game. Here's what happens if you lose: you will stay at my court forever. Even your bones will remain in this city of mine. To gain your freedom, you must beat me in a game the Chinese call ping pong. No one in this city has ever beaten me at this game."

That was true, though it is worth noting that very few people want to play a game with a man who can have your head chopped off. Decapitation is rightly regarded as bad manners and thus is generally frowned upon. Furthermore, Kublai Khan had a reputation for poor sportsmanship, as evidenced by the skulls of all the people he had decapitated and used to decorate his throne room, private study, guest bathroom, linen closet, and breakfast nook. He certainly had an interesting, albeit narrow, interpretation of the concept of feng shui.

Kublai Khan opened the little chest, and within, nestled in velvet, was a small ball about the size and color of a chicken egg. "This, Marco, is a preserved eggshell of the dodo, the only bird that lays perfectly round eggs. The dodo only lives on one distant island, and it defends itself by shooting eggs, hence the egg's round shape. Some explorers to the island took delight in dueling with dodos. Each man would grab a dodo and then point the birds' backsides at each other. The frightened fowl would begin firing, and a good time was had by all. I sent an expedition to retrieve some of these birds so that we could raise them here like ducks or chickens. Alas, the dodos all got homesick or seasick or just plain sick, and there was nothing left to do but bury them at stomach."

"How unfortunate, your royal highness. It seems you would have greatly enjoyed a game of dueling dodos."

"Indeed so. Fortunately, as I mentioned briefly before, the Chinese invented a game meant to simulate dueling dodos, for while it was not possible to domesticate them, their eggs when drained and covered with a protective lacquer, proved to be the most delightful sort of ball indeed. On a side note, the process of draining the dodo egg is very delicate work, and of course, the Chinese being a frugal people, found a most clever way of doing it. They would use a needle to pierce the shell, and the yolk would slowly, drop by drop, fall into a waiting cooking pot. You've probably been here long enough to have tasted the famous Chinese dish, and now you know how so-called egg drop soup got its name."

"Fascinating, your majesty. Truly your knowledge is boundless." At this, Marco Polo's mood lightened, for while his host had a rather morbid sense of interior decoration, Marco Polo could tell that Kublai Khan was wise and appreciated good company.

"Alright, Marco Polo, enough talk. Pick a side and grab the paddle. Since you have never played before, I will make the first serve. Don't worry, I'm sure someone as dexterous as you will catch on quickly to this game. En garde! Have at you!"

Marco Polo returned Kublai Khan's serve with gusto and was merely a prelude for an intense rally. Back and forth went the ball as the two players made increasingly ferocious and exotic strokes. Forehand, backhand, backspin, the Sicilian defense, the queen's gambit, and walk-the-dog. At long last, the upkeep of Kublai Khan's constricting robes became his downfall. 

"Game, set, match your majesty. Please honor your word and let me go."

"You are released, Marco Polo of Genoa. But please, take the paddles and the dodo egg with you, and let everyone you meet know of my greatness in this game."

"Your wish is my command, oh great khan."

And so with coterie of guides and guards for the baggage train, Marco Polo set again upon the Silk Road and began the long journey back to Genoa. After many dusty days and quiet nights, he once more set foot in his home city, where he received a hero's welcome from the duke. True to his word, Marco Polo met with the duke and his courtiers, and did his best to recite everything Kublai Khan had told him about the game. Alas and alack, the royal court of Genoa had little interest in the backstory, though they did find the game intriguing. The duke took Marco Polo aside and explained the game was never going to catch on with other royals without some changes. 

"The first problem is the size. Kings and queens like playing games on a big scale. Get rid of the table and play it on a small field. Call it a court. Also, make the ball and paddles bigger. Lastly, you need to change the name. Paris is very fashionable these days and it was founded by Saint Dennis. My suggestion is that you change the name from 'ping pong' to 'That Most Luxurious and Noble Past-Time of the Parisian Saint Dennis'." 

Marco Polo took this advice and after some recovery time with friends and family, he made his way to the famous faire of Paris. He did his best to tout the game but given his accent and the length of the game's name, he shortened it to "Dennis", which got garbled by the French into its current name.