Imagine if there was a way to simultaneously reduce carbon emissions, obesity, unemployment, and dependence on foreign oil. Well friends, there is a way. The Japanese discovered it centuries ago. Their human-powered carts are even today clattering through the dank and pungent alleys of the Orient. Yes, the rickshaw should be adopted by our noble Republic at once.
Rickshaws require no fuel and are easy to construct, maintain, and operate. Their fleet-footed drivers not only receive a means of employment but also ample fresh air and exercise. Just think of all the flabby, shabby blubberputts who could be transformed into lean, productive citizens through the magic of the rickshaw.
Adoption of a rickshaw-based infrastructure would have a ripple effect through out the economy. Just think of the stimulus to the footwear and wheelwright industries alone!
Some readers, doubtless, are still skeptical- and rightly so. "How can we trust an invention from heathen sandal-wearing goldfish tenders?" some may be asking. Why, just look at the myriad of wonders borne from that land! Whether it be cheap electronics, fast-cooking noodles, violent cartoons, or innovations in transpecies erotica, the Japanese have always led from the front.
Imagine whisking through busy streets at upwards of 6 miles per hour and walking only a few steps to hire another rested rickshaw driver and repeating that process as needed until you reach your final destination.
But don't take my word for it! Just look at this fellow and his happy passenger.
Rickshaws require no fuel and are easy to construct, maintain, and operate. Their fleet-footed drivers not only receive a means of employment but also ample fresh air and exercise. Just think of all the flabby, shabby blubberputts who could be transformed into lean, productive citizens through the magic of the rickshaw.
Adoption of a rickshaw-based infrastructure would have a ripple effect through out the economy. Just think of the stimulus to the footwear and wheelwright industries alone!
Some readers, doubtless, are still skeptical- and rightly so. "How can we trust an invention from heathen sandal-wearing goldfish tenders?" some may be asking. Why, just look at the myriad of wonders borne from that land! Whether it be cheap electronics, fast-cooking noodles, violent cartoons, or innovations in transpecies erotica, the Japanese have always led from the front.
Imagine whisking through busy streets at upwards of 6 miles per hour and walking only a few steps to hire another rested rickshaw driver and repeating that process as needed until you reach your final destination.
But don't take my word for it! Just look at this fellow and his happy passenger.
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