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Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Just a few more laws

The US constitution is 4,440 words long. It is the shortest constitution in the world and the oldest still in use.
Unfortunately, the Constitution was not quite enough, so over the years, we added a few more laws. By 1925, all of the country's laws fit in a book 7 inches thick- much more impressive than that flimsy old Constitution. Later came the IRS tax code. It is around 4 million words, but no one really knows for sure because it gets longer every year. It is now longer than the Bible (788 thousand words), War and Peace (587 thousand words), and the complete works of Shakespeare (884 thousand words)- combined.

Not bad, but still not quite enough. Obamacare added another 387 thousand words and its regulations another 11 million words. It is important to remember that laws include both statues and regulations. The regulations are often much longer than the law (statute) itself. I tried and failed to find a word count for all US laws, including federal, state, and local. I failed because it turns out there are so many of them, no one knows how many there really are. A rough guess is that there are probably around 100 million words total in all the country's laws.

Now we're getting somewhere. A Roman orator named Cicero famously said "more laws, less justice". But those were ancient times. Things are completely different today. The record of history clearly shows that as laws grow more numerous and complex, corruption & crime decrease. This is especially true for vice laws which have successfully eradicated prostitution & drugs. And with no unintended consequences whatsoever.

You see, with every law we pass, we inch ever closer to utopia. That's why we should be passing as many laws as possible and never, ever repealing them. To repeal even one law is to risk plunging the nation into anarchy. So the next time you hear someone complain about laws, just remember that laws are the only things stopping people from killing and eating each other. Even the laws like the one which banned pinball machines in New York City from 1940 to 1976. Those are the most important of all.


2 comments:

Kizone Kaprow said...

Still no comments...
Narcissist's vanity blog...
Derp.
Derp.
Derp.

Mr. Stegosaurus said...

Why, hello Mary Cecilia Stack of 8113 Sun Meadows Court, Fort Worth, Texas 76123, phone number 817-263-4116!