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Monday, October 9, 2023

Captain Stormfield Visits Valhalla

Everyone in San Francisco said Captain Stormfield was crazy when he announced he planned to ride a hot air balloon and hitch a ride on Halley's Comet. There was no laughing when neither he nor the balloon were ever seen again after the night of Stormfield's great experimental flight. For in truth, Stormfield had not told everyone everything about his design, and with the help of some esoteric devices (Tesla had attempted to explain how they worked, but Stormfield didn't understand and Tesla never wrote about it, like many of his other ideas), had reached the comet and was now resting comfortably on its surface. When his provisions ran out, much to his delight, he found that the entire comet was edible, nutritious, and delicious. Although it would be another 72 years before the comet would pass earth again, Stormfield felt confident that he had enough time to devise a solution. To his surprise, as he ate of the comet, he was de-aging. His white hair regained its former color and grew thicker, he had more energy, and all his old wrinkles and wounds vanished. Stormfield sealed some in snuff box for use in case of an emergency.    

Based on how often he had to answer the call of nature, Stormfield was able to estimate about how long he'd been on the comet. The days stretched into weeks and then months. Stormfield hoped with all his heart it would not extend into years, though he was certain he would survive the journey and return to earth. He had the foresight to bring a telescope with him, and when he wasn't writing in his journal, he was scanning the heavens for any sign of hope. To his surprise and relief, a blue point of light appeared, and daily it grew larger. Stormfield was ecstatic to sea an earth-like planet so far out in the cosmos and after such a long night on the comet. Once while peering at the distant planet, he saw a much smaller object that grew larger with a much greater frequency. Could it be a craft sent out to rescue him? He could only hope that was the case. In preparation, he gouged out a large X on the surface of the comet with his own stricken ship in the center. He knew it was unlikely that his would-be rescuers could read or understand English, but hopefully they could recognize the difference between natural and artificial shapes. 

Indeed, as the object grew closer, it was plain enough that it was a spacecraft, just as Stormfield had suspected. It had a large window at the front, various lights along its fish-shaped body, and the flames and smoke pouring out the rear looked much like a flying rocket during a Fourth of July Fireworks show. He concluded that if he had a telescope that allowed him to see them, surely they had something much more advanced that allowed them to see him. By this point, the sun the planet orbited was close enough so that its brightness was similar to earth's sun. Stormfield retrieved a signal mirror and began flashing it at the craft. After a few minutes of that, he checked his telescope and saw that the ship was flashing back at him. Soon enough, the alien vessel was large enough to be seen with the naked eye. There has a flash from the ship, and a harpoon-like device shot out and embedded near the center of Stormfield's X. Towards the of the harpoon was a kind of harness which he concluded was meant for him to wear. He put on the harness and fastened it tight. Then he used his mirror to signal the ship. 

Later, he concluded that the ship must have been matching course and speed with the comet, else the harpoon would not have stayed stuck in its surface. As soon as the craft stopped its engine, the comet tore away from the harpoon and Stormfield was left floating in space. Fortunately, the special suit Tesla had made for just such andevent worked perfectly. It resembled a Siebe apparatus outwardly, though Tesla had made numerous improvements. What a shame it was that Tesla never documented the suit's design. Slowly, Stormfield was winched toward the ship. At last, he approached some sort of hatch that had what looked like a ship's wheel. Stormfield turned it left a few turns and the hatch opened. What an interesting coincidence it was that the righty-tighty, lefty-loosey rule would work in the far reaches of outer space. He closed the hatch behind him and tightened the wheel to seal the chamber. On the other side of the chamber was a similar hatch, but he sensed he shouldn't open it. He had just been in the vacuum of space and while the comet's atmosphere was enough such that he could remove his suit for a few hours at a time, he knew that wasn't the case once he had been launched into space. 

He saw a red light illuminated near the inner door of the chamber and next to it was an unlit light whose bulb was made with green-tinted glass. After a few minutes, the red light went out and the green light turned on. Stormfield went the inner door and opened it. On the other side were several men who looked Scandinavian, one had red hair, another had blonde hair, and the third had blue eyes. Stormfield concluded they must be from earth, and not sure what other language to use, took out a pen and paper and wrote some Latin on it. Then he read it out loud as he pointed to the words, which were "in vino veritas". One of the men laughed, spoke to his comrades in another language, and they laughed too. A few moments later, one of them returned with a goatskin full of mead, which Stormfield guzzled contentedly. He had correctly deduced that these must be men of learning, and so it was likely that it least one of them knew some Latin.  

The cleats on Stormfields boots had kept him anchored to the comet, but he was not sure what was holding him to the floor aboard the ship. The red-haired one motioned him to follow and Stormfield was led to the cockpit. The red-haired one was apparently the pilot, and after he adjusted some knobs and buttons, the ship turned so that the planet Stormfield had gazed at so intently was now in view. The blonde one then motioned Stormfield to look into the eyepiece of the ship's telescope, and after playing a few knobs, he brought the view into focus and was able to magnify it tremendously. He saw farms, ports, cities, roads, canals and every other form of physical civilization. At the maximum setting, he could see individual people as though they were toy soldiers on a table right in front of him.

Stormfield was taken down to the planet and slowly learned the language and culture of its people. They called their world Valhalla, after the paradise of the Viking religion. It turned out they were the descendants of a Viking expedition that had been lost thousands of years ago. They themselves weren't sure quite how it happened, but as far as their scientists could tell, their longship had drifted into some sort of portal which catapulted them trillions of miles through space, and by a fantastic stroke of luck, they landed safely on an earth-like planet. A few other Viking ships suffered the same fate, and that built up their population enough so that their society became self-sustaining. With no other rivals and a common language, religion, and culture, their civilization flourished and advanced to tremendous levels. Their scientific knowledge far exceeded that of the earth-born, as they referred to Stormfield's people. When Stormfield asked if they would not prefer to return to earth, their chief scientist replied that the time was not right, but Stormfield would have the honor of being their ambassador, the first they had ever sent to earth.

As proof of his voyage, Stormfield was given a book which contained all sorts of advanced math and science written in their language, which had diverged little from Old Norse. He knew that if he showed this book to any expert in the history or language of the Vikings, they would surely conclude that no man from earth could have written it. Futhermore, being fluent and literate in this language, Stormfield could explain its contents to scientists, historians, and mathematicians. With much fanfare, Stormfield was ushered off to latch onto the comet as it passed by. He was given an improved space suit with a special harpoon gun that would allow him to reach and board the comet. With all their advanced technology, even the denizens of Valhalla had yet to perfect long-distance space travel. He was also given a potion that would allow him to sleep for several decades. When it wore off, he would be mere days away from passing Earth, where upon he could use the grappling gun to attach to the earth. 

Stormfield waved farewell, took aim, and fired the harpoon gun into the comet. Instantly, he was hoisted off the ground, and after a few minutes, winched toward the surface. He trudged back to the wreckage of his balloon ship, found a comfortable place to lie down, and took the hibernation pill. He awoke as though from a short nap, went back outside and saw the earth once more in all its glory. He aimed for a point near San Francisco and fired the gun. In the blink of an eye, he was hurtling through space once more. By an extraordinary coincidence, he made landfall on Alcatraz Island. He had practiced a bit on Valhalla with using the harpoon gun to travel shorter distances, and so made another much smaller leap across the bay to the shore. 

Now that he was home, safe and sound, he removed his helmet and suit. Almost instantly, he felt sick. There had been too many shocks to his system. In a panic, he staggered toward a passerby and begged for help. The stranger watched in horror as Stormfield dessicated and disintegrated in a matter of seconds. The passerby explained what he saw and showed the remains to the authorities. Alas, he was declared insane and sent away. The remains of Stormfield, including the suit, the book, and the tin of comet meat was gathered up by the police. After a few professors looked at it with little interest, the remains were auctioned off, and ended up in the hands of a Chinatown antique dealer. The dealer wasn't sure what the artifacts were either, but he was certain they were important, and therefore priceless. In this way, the artifacts stayed hidden for many years. 

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