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Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Amanda Marcotte: Butcher of the English Language

I happened upon this wonderful blog dedicated to revising Marcotte's awful writing.

Amanda Marcotte is a feminist blogger with a habit of writing monstrous run-on sentences. Let's look at a typical sample:

Part of me really doesn’t want to discourage Glenn Beck and Michelle Bachmann from continuing to hit the road and tell their largely elderly constituents that they need to be “weaned off” “government” funded programs like Social Security and Medicare---the teabaggers may not be the smartest people on the planet, but I’m sure people who begrudge every penny like they do noticed that Social Security and Medicare was paid directly by them from their payroll taxes and therefore the money they’re getting now is their money. (89 words) 

Yes, an 89-word sentence. She's not quite in James Joyce territory yet, but Joyce was writing experimental fiction. Marcotte is supposed to be writing humorous prose. Instead, almost all of her articles appears to be an attempt to reprise the Johann Gambolputty skit from Monty Python:

I have read North Korea propaganda that was better written. There is something about strong political beliefs that uniformly produces terrible writing- whether communist treatises, Marcotte columns, or John Galt's speech from Atlas Shrugged.

Amanda Marcotte Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden -schlitter -crasscrenbon -fried -digger -dangle -dungle -burstein -von -knacker -thrasher -apple -banger -horowitz -ticolensic -grander -knotty -spelltinkle -grandlich -grumblemeyer -spelterwasser -kürstlich -himbleeisen -bahnwagen -gutenabend -bitte -eine -nürnburger -bratwustle -gerspurten -mit -zweimache -luber -hundsfut -gumberaber -shönendanker -kalbsfleisch -mittler -raucher von Hautkopft of Ulm has supposedly written a response to these charges, but I have been unable to locate it. 

I for one hope Marcotte has a long a prolific writing career. She does for writing what Florence Foster Jenkins did for singing. 

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