TRENTON - "Drastic times call for drastic measures", explained Governor Phil Murphy at a press conference held Friday. The controversial proposal calls for the first very foreign aid program whereby scientists and engineers of the former Third Reich will be tasked with countering the sudden influx of mystery drones targeting the Garden State. "First off, let's not use the other N-word. Operation Paperclip and NASA set the precedent for this over 50 years ago. And yes, while the existence of a German colony on the dark side of the moon may come as a shock to many, is it really that hard to believe? How many of you knew that the first man-made object to reach outer space was a German V2 rocket in 1944?"
"We will be most happy to share the fruits of our secret labors", said Raumfahrerfuehrer Siegfried Wagner von Ulm in a radio interview with NPR's science correspondent Joanna Gambolputty. "If nothing else, it relieves the tedium of life that we have endured for 80 years. It is extremely difficult to brew decent beer or make good sausage up there. And no visitors either except for the occasional wayward cosmonaut, though the fresh DNA from the ova of the female ones was certainly appreciated. We waited in silence for the right time to return, but unfortunately, our politics only became less popular with the passage of time. Even so, perhaps we can redeem ourselves by displaying our technological prowess. It has only grown since the days of the so-called Wonder Weapons."
Von Ulm went on to explain the technical details of his people's moon habitat, which includes various schools, laboratories, workshops, mines, power plants, and refineries. As a result, he has been swamped with requests from millions of science fiction fans and aspiring astronauts for permission to immigrate to the Dunkelmondlandberg, as the colony calls itself. However, von Ulm said they can only afford to integrate those of superior intellectual and physical qualities, though they would welcome deliveries of cargo, such as schnapps, cheese, and pretzels, that might help them return to earth. "We would be more than happy to turn our base over to NASA other space explorers in exchange for citizenship and help in adjusting back to life with normal gravity."
In the meantime, the lunar Germans have promised to assist from afar. "We have, of course, been monitoring broadcasts from earth and so are aware of such concepts as 'work from home', 'remote work', 'coffee badging', etc. This we will continue with respect to the drone problem until we can finish a suitable re-entry spaceship ferry apparatus. I expect it to proceed at a much faster pace than the construction of our Außerordentlichehochgeschwindigkeitselektronenentwickelndesschwerarbeitsbeigollitron. That was spearheaded by the esteemed professor Johann Jakob Jingleheimerschmidt. Furthermore, we note with both surprise and concern that your educational system is so dysfunctional that you must reach out to such a backwater as ours to find engineering talent. I have been told that this situation has been normal for some time and that you even have a special visa program to act as an antidote."
There have been protests both for and against the Mondvolk, as they like to call themselves, with supporters eager to learn their secrets of space survival and opponents going so far as to say they should be exterminated preemptively because of their superior technology and historically aggressive nature. However, the ACLU and SPLC have stated that should the spacemen land in Mexico and cross the southern border, they should be considered undocumented immigrants and be free to display their swastika flags while parading in Skokie just like other Illinois Nazis.
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