on failure

Instead of saying "I failed", it's better to say, "I'm starting over". The only real failure is when you give up completely and don't try anything. Everything else is just a minor setback. I've had many such setbacks in my life. The life of the Japanese poet Kobayashi Issa inspires me.

He experienced many misfortunes in his life. His mother died when he was three, and three of his children died when they were young. His first wife also died a few years before him. In spite of that, he wrote numerous poems including thousands of haikus. His enormous body of work continues to be read to this day, both in the original Japanese and in translation. 

Failure is rarely fatal or permanent. The only sure things in life are death, taxes, and change. 

Some relevant quotes:

A minute’s success pays the failure of years. 

-Anonymous

Make new mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. 

-Robert Browning 

Mistakes are the portals of discovery. 

-Neil Gaiman

Failure is an attitude, not an outcome.

-James Joyce

what I wish was taught in schools about sex

I had "sex education" in 9th grade science class. It was mostly the biology of human reproduction, and nothing I didn't know already. What is far more important are the social and emotional aspects. 

Adults are reluctant to talk about sex in general and especially around children. Some oppose sex education because they think it will make teens more likely to experiment. I think the real reason is they feel embarrassed when they talk about it. 

Here's what schools should teach:

1. Fetuses have been observed masturbating in ultrasound images. Everyone experiences many orgasms long before they actually have intercourse.

2. The loss of your virginity will likely be a disappointing experience. 

3. Many people lie about their sex lives.

4. Stupid people boast of their sexual prowess to shame the intelligent and the gullible. 

5. About 20% of American men will have sex with prostitutes at some point in their lives. 

6. Smarter people have fewer children and have them later in life. They are also better parents.  

7. You'll lose money if you chase women, but you'll never lose women if you chase money. 

8. For every pot, there is a lid. 

9. Sometimes the juice is not worth the squeeze. 

10. Don't buy the cow if you get the milk for free. 

I think adults like having "secret" knowledge since they perceive that it gives them power over children. It's sort of like the Santa Claus mythos. 

If I had to put a number on it, I'd say sex with a woman gave me about $20 of happiness, and sex with a beautiful woman gave me about $40. $20 will get you a fast-food meal and a 6-pack of good beer with a few bucks left over. 

I'm short, shy, and have been fat most of my life. I'm probably in the 10th percentile for sexual attractiveness. Even so, I've dated many women and had a few girlfriends. My conclusion is that it's not that big a deal. 

an introvert "survival" guide

There is a military concept called the survivability onion. It has the following layers:

don't be in range of enemy weapons

if in range, know where they are to avoid detection

if detected, take cover to avoid being fired upon

if fired upon, have armor and a weapon for protection

I think something similar can help introverts in a world designed for extroverts. 

1. Realize that provocations, insults, etc. are inevitable no matter how much you avoid them. 

2. Avoid irritating people and circumstances

3. If there is an annoying stimulus, ignore it if possible

4. If the provocation continues, leave the vicinity if possible

5. If you must respond, use humor or sarcasm first

6. Be prepared to defend yourself physically before they touch you

Smaller people, especially men, are perceived as easier targets. The best self-defense weapon for most people is a quick-opening knife. They're cheap, portable, and very few people will press an attack against someone holding a knife.

If you're quiet and keep to yourself, realize that some people will provoke you because they want to "break you out of your shell". 

If you don't like to yell, swear, or use insults. a hard stare can deter aggression. 

It's best to conceal your intelligence. Showing it arouses resentment and makes others eager to humiliate you. 

If you look crazy or dangerous (unusual hair or clothes), people will leave you alone. There are pros and cons to this. 

Mere honesty is often perceived as the most insulting. 

If you're Christian, it's best to interpret "turn the other cheek" as "don't retaliate immediately". 

In any group of people. your basic options are conform, suffer, or leave. Be average if you want lots of friends. 

let us pray

one time pad encryption example using alternating sin(x) and ln(x) as a random number generator

digits 1-9 = 00 to 09

alphabet = 10 to 35 

enigma style, no spaces, no punctuation

alternate ln and sin

2-digit random numbers added to each code group

use mod(10) addition 

attack at dawn

a t t a c k a t d a w n

plaintext

10 29 29 10 12 20 10 29 13 10 32 23

10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35

a    b   c   d   e   f    g   h   i    j   k   l    m  n   o   p   q    r   s   t    u   v   w   x   y   z

ln(123) = 4.8121843554

81 21 84 35 54

sin(54) = 0.8090169944

80 90 16 99 44

ln(44) = 3.7841896339

78 41 89 63 39 

ciphertext

91 50 13 45 66 00 00 45 12 54 10 64 

use mod(10) subtraction to decrypt

precision

 

rally point