dulce et decorum est pro patria mori?

The following cartoons are even more disturbing than what I had in mind.

Suggested music:

My Chemical Romance - Welcome To The Black Parade [Official Music Video] [HD]

Elena Siegman - 115 Lyrics

James Bond Live And Let Die New Orleans Funeral Scene1

Coffin Dance (Official Music Video HD)

Lays of Ancient Rome - Wikipedia

***

This poem contains the often-quoted lines:

Then out spake brave Horatius,

The Captain of the Gate:

"To every man upon this earth

Death cometh soon or late.

And how can man die better

Than facing fearful odds,

For the ashes of his fathers,

And the temples of his Gods."[4][5]

***

gator haiku

they had tons of fun

big fish in a little pond 

until the gator came

close enough for government work

old hat

steampunk dreidel

Oh, dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I forged you out of brass...and when you're cooled and ready, with dreidel I shall last

on being an overachiever

I thought I was hot stuff until I read about this guy:

Jonny Kim - Wikipedia

***

Jonathan Yong "Jonny" Kim (born 5 February 1984) is an American NASA astronaut, physician, U.S. Navy officer, dual designated naval aviator and flight surgeon, and former Navy SEAL.

***

Well, he's got me beat by a country mile. Judge for yourself, here's my scoreboard:

Derpetology: Smarter Than the Average Bear

gist: Eagle Scout, BS in chemical engineering on full scholarship, Swahili from Peace Corps, Arabic from Army and NSA, perfect ASVAB score

I never believed in a traditional afterlife, and so I thought I could achieve symbolic immortality through achievement. That's a common mistaken belief. The world is full of people trying to be the best in this or that. I like the parable from a story called Hope for Flowers. It shows how foolish the rat race is:

Hope for the Flowers - Wikipedia

***

Hope for the Flowers is an allegorical novel by Trina Paulus. It was first published in 1972 and reflects the idealism of the counterculture of the period. Often categorized as a children's novel, it is a fable "partly about life, partly about revolution and lots about hope – for adults and others including caterpillars who can read". The two focal characters are caterpillars named Yellow and Stripe. They begin their search for meaning by attempting to climb to the top of a caterpillar pillar only to discover another destiny.[1]

...

He focuses, adapts, and drives to reach the top, and eventually he succeeds at being on the top of the caterpillar pillar. This results in disillusionment, as he takes in a vast vista of other caterpillar pillars. Is this all there is at the top? He has not really gotten into the sky. He just has a view of other caterpillars struggling to reach the top of their respective caterpillar pillars.

***

It takes wisdom to realize that at the end of the game, the king and the pawn go back in the same box, and that sometimes the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

In the good book, it says:

***

I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

***

It's good to work and study hard when you're young and have the time and energy for it. It often pays off later and gives some pride in the meantime. In the end, life should be enjoyed, not endured. We're human beings, not human doings. 

Charles Schulz, creator of affable loser Charlie Brown, said that most people can't name any of the recent champions of this or that. Applause fades. But you remember the people who helped or hurt you. 

A famous Christian preacher had a goal of becoming a school's tennis champion. He succeeded, and was proud to see his trophy in the school's display case for all to see. Many years later, he came back to visit the school and was somewhat shocked to see his trophy in a garbage can. His conclusion was given enough time, all your trophies will be trashed by somebody else. 

There's a poem that sums up these ideas well:

***

On the Vanity of Earthly Greatness

by Arthur Guiterman (1871-1943)

The tusks that clashed in mighty brawls

Of mastodons, are billiard balls.

The sword of Charlemagne the Just

Is ferric oxide, known as rust.

The grizzly bear whose potent hug

Was feared by all, is now a rug.

Great Caesar’s bust is on my shelf,

And I don’t feel so well myself.

***

It's interesting that the most influential belief system was founded by a man who died young, had no children, and was executed like a common criminal after an eventful life by historical standards. Or at least the story of that has cast a long shadow. 

Work hard, do your best, have fun, enjoy your triumphs. But remember you must die. Memento mori, as the ancient Romans said. No one really owns anything, especially life. We just get to borrow it for a while. 

Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow(?) we die. Tomorrow, this retired overachiever will swim, eat, good food, relax, and be thankful for his good fortune.

brother may I have some oats

4 chord songs and Emily Dickinson poems

4 Chords | Music Videos | The Axis Of Awesome

Emily Dickinson's Poems sung to the tune of the Gilligan's Island Theme Song.

War of the Boorish Boer and the Poor Moor - poem #59

A boorish Boer lived on a moor

His neighbor was a poor Moor

The poor Moor and the boorish Boer

fought over who could bore more

To settle the score 

the poor Moor schemed to lure

the boorish Boer with roar

at his door on the moor

At the stroke of four on the moor

the poor Moor let out a roar

at the door of the boorish Boer

who fell with fright to the floor

Feeling sore, the boorish Boer

tore open a drawer, took out a

sword, and stormed off to gore

the poor Moor 

The poor Moor had a store 

near a sewer on the moor

it had been built not long before

thus it was a newer sewer on the moor

The boorish Boer was sure at his core

that the poor Moor had roared at his door

and using lore of the thunder god Thor

took his sword and beheaded the poor Moor.

And so ended the war of the Moor and Boer

This all happened in the days of yore

when soft rains poured on the moor

Death of a Florida Man - poem #58

In 2012, a Florida man died shortly after winning a cockroach-eating contest at a pet store. The prize was a rare python. I decided to commemorate this event with a poem. No disrespect to the deceased is intended.

https://www.cnn.com/2012/10/09/us/florida-roach-eating-death/index.html

Death of a Florida Man

Proudly, he sauntered to the stage

the ivory python, the prize all sought

was coiled up in its cage

To win this boon, however

meant to eat with all his might

and that brought the hopefuls

onto the stage that night

the reptile store sold scaly pets

that crawl, slither, and scramble

the contest was to consume insects

none but the brave take such a gamble

the strange menu was meant to reflect

the tastes of cold-blooded creatures

And so at the starting bell, cheered the coaches

and our bold hero rushed to devour 

that prey of lizards, cockroaches

which were the meal of the hour

though all strove through the strange dinner

in the end, there was one clear winner

But lo, the champion soon fell ill

who could eat so many bugs against the body's will?

the bystanders rushed to aid the choking man

alas, it was too late for a helping hand

like Icarus, he flew too close to the sun

and thus was vanquished with the battle won

The tale of his epic feat lives on

and inspires further courage

from his home state of Florida

where such things are almost average

His name was Edward Archbold

The Groogle's Doodle and the Strudel Bugle - poem #57

***

I put Lewis Carroll, Dr. Seuss, and Shel Silverstein into my mental blender, and this is what came out.

***

A groogle named Dougal made a doodle of a noodle-eating poodle

"Oh, what fine work I've done!" said the groogle

the groogle blew a bugle, the signal for strudel

but even after the groogle blew the strudel bugle

the groogle's servant came without a strudel

"Apologies, my lord Dougal", said the abashed servant 

who had to muddle through a puddle on the double 

"We're out of strudels and I lack the recipe"

At this, the groogle (named Dougal) used Google to find strudel

"Ah ha!" said the droogle named Dougal, "let's take the flagon wagon"

and so the droogle and his servant named Foozle set out for strudel

the flagon wagon stout and sure, for it was a gift from a dragon

thus the droogle named Dougal and his servant named Foozle set out

in the dragon flagon wagon in search of strudel found on Google

"When you see the strudel", said the groogle named Dougal 

to his servant named Foozle, "be sure to blow the strudel bugle"

Blowing the strudel bugle was the only way to scare off the

noodle-eating poodle that the groogle named Dougal had doodled

Their journey was not easy; they had to muddle through a puddle

in the dragon flagon wagon; there was a bungle in the jungle 

when a killer gorilla flotilla from Manilla attacked the groogle

named Dougal and his servant named Foozle just as Foozle spotted

the strudel and blew the strudel bugle from the dragon flagon wagon

a killer gorilla from the Manilla flotilla grabbed a paddle for the battle

that was a jungle bungle and the groogle and Foozle tried to muddle through a puddle

but the puddle paddle battle with the killer gorilla flotilla from Manilla for

the dragon flagon wagon began just as Foozle blew the strudel bugle

It was a raucous melee when entered the fray none other than the noodle-eating poodle

whom the droogle named Dougal had doodled before he Googled for strudel!

For you see, when Foozle blew the strudel bugle, he summoned the noodle-eating poodle

named Kitten Kaboodle to the midst of the dragon flagon wagon puddle paddle battle

with the killer gorilla flotilla from Manilla 

Kitten Kaboodle seized and blew the strudel bugle which signaled all the noodle poodles

to converge on the dragon flagon wagon of the droogle named Dougal and his servant named Foozle

The killer gorilla flotilla from Manilla was about to flee when the poodle named Kitten Kaboodle

offered strudel to them, for that is the custom whenever a noodle poodle hears the call of the strudel bugle

In thanks for the strudel, the droogle named Dougal passed the strudel bugle to the noodle poodle

named Kitten Kaboodle and ended the dragon flagon wagon puddle paddle battle with the killer gorilla flotilla from Manilla 

Once back at home, the groogle named Dougal made another doodle of the noodle poodle named Kitten Kaboodle who now was the keeper of the strudel bugle

abolition haiku and limerick - poems 55 and 56

an abolition

is perhaps the final word 

sometimes not the end

for some great evil, "abolition!" cries the angry crowd

pomp and circumstance with fiery speeches read aloud

but in their zest they forgot their plans contain a certain fatal flaw

which is that changing minds takes more than just changing the law

for some care less about justice and more about feeling proud

aberration haiku and limerick - poems 53 and 54

an aberration

is not always the worst thing

variety is spice

it's an aberration when what we get

doesn't follow the plan we set

but it's better to roll with the punches

and when needed act on our hunches

than to frown, curse, grouse, and fret

abdomen haiku and limerick - poems 51 and 52

arthropod segments

head, thorax, and abdomen

home of the stinger

for abdomen is garbled Greek

and for those who knowledge seek

know the fondness scholars bold

had for the languages of old

even for tongues they could not speak

abbey haiku and limerick - poems 49 and 50

silent house of god

many monks in prayer are awed

from just the stained glass

Vikings looted an abbey Hibernian

and the monk who was most learned in

Latin mourned the stolen Book of Kells

But from Norse hands it fell 

And now we can tell the tale recorded therein

abalone haiku and limerick - poems 45 and 46

a marine mollusk

taken from cold, autumn seas

a dinner delight

a mollusk from the sea

known as the abalone

has a flat spiral shell

and by that you can tell

whether to take or leave it be 

abattoir haiku and limerick - poems 47 and 48

an abattoir grim

for the cattle that go in 

a job most macabre 

from a grisly abattoir comes our beef

and the doomed, fatted cattle come to grief

but later when I dine 

on a juicy steak so fine

vegetarians are beyond belief

abacus haiku and limerick - poems 43 and 44

still used in Asia

an ancient adding machine

first calculator

though the computer is most fabulous

there is plain beauty in the abacus

for wooden rods and beads

are all that one needs

to reckon even sums tremendous

aardvark haiku and limerick - poems 41 and 42

note: here begin my alphabetical poems

I don't think I can write a poem about every word in my dictionary (65,000 entries) but I will try.

burrowing mammal

eater of ants and termites

nature's pest control

the aardvark from Africa south

has a most unusual mouth 

with a tongue long and sticky

it can afford to be picky

and prefers ant over louse

hypocrisy haiku and limerick - poems 39 and 40

drab hypocrisy

lubricates the social gears

of dark winter nights

a fine upstanding young hypocrite

took a sip from a glass with filth in it

he made not a sound

as he swallowed it down

and then praised the host for his grace and wit

origami haiku and limerick - poems 37 and 38

ori means to fold

miura is the magic

of spring satellites

an astrophysicist Japanese

found a way to stack with ease

his name is Miura

and today it's true you're a

bit smarter for reading this piece