Hunt for the Maneater Manatee

Out on the bayou, way down south

There's a tale the old fishermen tell

Of the terrible beast with the blood-stained teeth

And a massive whale-like physique

This creature arose from the depths sometime in the ancient past

Filled with a hunger oh so cruel it would even make Satan laugh

After twenty men went missing in less than the space of a week

The town elders called a meeting and gave everyone a turn to speak

They hemmed and hawed and shouted for hours

There was an endless hue and cry

Until at long last a man rose to speak and he had hate in his eyes

"How dare you cowards waste my time with your empty talk and fear

Because I'll kill that monster if it's the last thing I do

And to prove it, I'll bring it here

All I ask is a good, strong crew who will heed my every word

So raise your hands if you're a real man and make your voices heard"

In the blink of an eye, a dozen hands shot up

They were the best of the town

There was Murphy, Johnson, Caparzo and Smith

With Lucas, Hector, Santelli, and Brown

To them were joined the Lafayette twins 

As well as the Dengler brothers grim

Who were known far and wide from every side

For their fierce scowls and grins

They each grabbed a gleaming harpoon 

Before boarding the humble craft

Their kids and their wives and the loves of their lives

Stood fast and watched as the oars were clasped

Farther and farther into the mist 

That had suddenly crept in on the coast

The motley crew rowed right on through

Every man gave his utmost 

Til at last came a blast that rattled the mast and nearly tipped them over

It was maneater manatee, huge and fierce

The brave men whimpered in horror

Not one of them had seen such an awful gleam in the eyes of the creature of yore

It rammed their boat hard as it could 

The men were tossed in the water

It bit off their legs and swallowed some whole 

And chewed alive a new father

Then at once came alive from the waves of the brine

The old captain who fought for his life

He stabbed the beast with no hope of relief

Til the sea filled with blood and gore

The survivors and he gathered some ropes from debris

And patiently dragged it ashore

The tide was their kin and helped drag them in

Onto the sand of the strand where they were home once more

A crowd soon gathered to see the men tattered

And the ghastly maw of what they hauled in

"Now", said the captain, "you see what has happened

So give us our due and begone!"

To the tavern they went and spent every cent 

Of the bounty bestowed by the crowd

And still to this day near the old, broken quay

You can see the bones of the thing

The maneater manatee was fearsome and cruel

Enough to make a sailor's blood run cold

But now it's gone and all that's left

Is a legend that may be sung and told