Spot the Not #104 - euphemisms

All the following are real except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. individual shared responsibility payment

2. revenue enhancement

3. committee for public safety

4. oral malfunction

5. special attack squadron

6. temporary assistance to needy families

Spot the Not #103 - Mike Huckabee books

All the following are real books by him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. With Christ in the Voting Booth

2. God, Guns, Grits, and Gravy

3. Kids Who Kill

4. Living Beyond Your Lifetime

5. Quit Digging Your Grave with a Knife and Fork

6. Do the Right Thing

Spot the Not #102 - Bill O'Reilly books

All the following are actual books from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Pinheads and Patriots

2. A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity

3. Hollywood Hoodlums

4. Culture Warrior

5. Those Who Trespass

6. The O'Reilly Factor for Kids

Spot the Not #101 - Peter King

All the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. I think I'm one of the people who brought about peace in Ireland.

2. My dad was in the army and lost his right eye. But he saluted the flag until the day that he died.

3. If we have another 2,000 people killed, I want Nancy Pelosi and George Soros, John Conyers and Pat Leahy to go to the funeral and say, 'Your son was vaporized because we didn't want to dump some guy's head under water for 30 seconds.'

4. When things did go wrong for the IRA, when civilians were killed, I tried to put it in context, not defend it.

5. WikiLeaks presents a clear and present danger to the national security of the United States.

6. Every soldier, every cop who's faced with a decision to make, a life or death, does the best he or she can.

Spot the Not #100 - Hillary Clinton as described by Lena Dunham's newsletter

All the following are real quotes from her newsletter except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. She is an idea, a world-historical heroine, light itself.

2. I love Hillary Clinton. I am in awe of her. I am set free by her. She will be the finest world leader our galaxy has ever seen.

3. But the feminist hero never got to be a legend first. And yet she is one, easily surpassing Ben Franklin, Henry Ford, Steve Jobs.

4. Hillary Clinton's name belongs on ships, and airports, and tattoos. She deserves straight-up hagiographies and a sold-out Broadway show called RODHAM.

5. Hillary Clinton did everything right in this campaign, and she won more votes than her opponent did. She won. She cannot be faulted, criticized, or analyzed for even one more second.

6. Schoolchildren will one day memorize Clinton's name as the greatest woman who ever lived.

Spot the Not #99 - Evan McMullin

All the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests.

2. I humbly offer myself as a leader who can give millions of disaffected Americans a better choice for President.

3. We need to be smarter about fighting poverty that's an issue I'm very passionate about.

4. Join our cause. It is a cause of unity and a cause of liberty.

5. We need a change agent that understands what makes this country special and that isn't about dividing people.

6. Just as the American Revolution required men and women devoted to liberty and freedom to stand up and be counted, this moment calls a new generation to the same sacred task.

Spot the Not #98 - John Rawls

All the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Clearly when the liberties are left unrestricted they collide with one another.

2. The suppression of liberty is always likely to be irrational.

3. It may be expedient but it is not just that some should have less in order that others may prosper.

4. It is a fallacy to conclude that because something is so, it must be so.

5. No one deserves his greater natural capacity nor merits a more favorable starting place in society.

6. Ideal legislators do not vote their interests.

Spot the Not #97 - Mike Huckabee, part 2

Two of the following are real quotes from him. Can you Spot the Not?

1. I've never, ever tasted beer.

2. I drink a different kind of Jesus juice.

3. Nothing beats the feel of a nice leather Bible.

Spot the Not #96 - Mike Huckabee, part 1

Two of the following are real quotes from him. Can you Spot the Not?

1. The three most influential people in my life are FDR, Jesus, and Elvis.

2. Inside every human being there are treasures to unlock.

3. No one is more important to the future of our state than our teachers.

Spot the Not #95 - torture and execution

All the following are real cases except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. nicknamed The Devil's Dancing Bear; he had a private torture chamber in his house

2. invented a death machine and became its first victim

3. invented the iron maiden after he got tired of other torture methods

4. His ancestry was 8 generations of executioners. He beheaded over 3000 people.

5. invented a torture machine that was shaped like his wife

6. invented a death machine to discredit a business rival

Spot the Not #94 - parliament & congress fights around the world

All the following except one are real incidents. Can you Spot the Not?

1. In this country, a congressman decided to finish a heated discussion with another congressman with a punch in the jaw. He was suspended 120 days from the legislature for the violent act.

2. In this country, an MP ripped ripped a proposal out of another MP's hand and ate it to prevent a vote on the proposal.

3. In this country, politicians fought each other with smoke bombs and eggs.

4. In this country, the opposing sides are separated by a red line in the carpet. The red lines in front of the two sets of benches are two sword-lengths apart. An MP is traditionally not allowed to cross the line during debates, supposedly because the an MP might then be able to attack an individual on the opposite side. These procedures were made because the MPs were allowed to carry weapons in the past.

5. In this country, an MP was seized and held down while another MP farted on his head.

6. In this country, an MP was enraged by a group who began singing a leftist song. He seized a ceremonial mace and brandished it over his head.

Spot the Not #93 - working and alternate titles of famous movies

All of the following except one were the real titles of classic films before re-naming. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Star Beast

2. Scared Sheetless

3. It Had To Be Jew?

4. The Lunch Bunch

5. Extremely Violent

6. The Christmas That Almost Wasn't But Then Was

Spot the Not #92 - Aaron Sorkin

All of the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. I like writing idealistically, romantically and swashbucklingly.

2. I consider plot a necessary intrusion on what I really want to do, which is write snappy dialogue.

3. I take anywhere between six to eight showers a day. I'm not exaggerating. I'm not a germaphobe: it's all about a fresh start.

4. Good writers borrow from other writers. Great writers steal from them outright.

5. The validity of the ideas is less important to me than how dramatic and noble they sound.

6. Heroes in drama are people who try hard to reach a virtuous ideal. And whether they succeed or fail really doesn't matter - it's the trying that counts.

Spot the Not #91 - Alex Pareene

All the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Aaron Sorkin is why people hate liberals. He's a smug, condescending know-it-all who isn't as smart as he thinks he is.

2. I grew up in a politically aware household: very civically-minded, good Minnesota liberals.

3. Modern political speechwriting is certainly a skill, and one that requires experience and practice to master.

4. Modern political speechwriting is not a high-minded pursuit for brilliant talents.

5. We are actually a very rich country with a lot of resources and the ability to do almost whatever we want. We could eliminate poverty in America by spending a fraction of what we spend on defense.

6. Matt Damon is why people hate liberals. He's a smug, condescending, know-it-all who isn't as smart as he thinks he is.

Spot the Not #90 - politicians on the minimum wage

All the following are real quotes from politicians except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. In the 1960s, a minimum wage job would keep a family of three afloat.

2. The minimum wage was the 20th century equivalent of the Emancipation Proclamation.

3. At the current $5.15 an hour, the federal minimum wage has become a poverty wage. A full-time worker with one child lives below the official poverty line.

4. No family gets rich from earning the minimum wage. In fact, the current minimum wage does not even lift a family out of poverty.

5. The typical minimum wage earner is a provider and a breadwinner - most likely a woman - responsible for paying bills, running a household and raising children.

6. Raising the minimum wage isn't just pro-worker; it's pro-economic growth.

Spot the Not #89 - Osama bin Laden

All the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Look at Vietnam, look at Lebanon. Whenever soldiers start coming home in body bags, Americans panic and retreat. Such a country needs only to be confronted with two or three sharp blows, then it will flee in panic, as it always has.

2. Every nation imposes its own system as far as its armies can reach, and America and Israel are the best examples of this.

3. The ruling to kill the Americans and their allies, civilians and military. is an individual duty for every Muslim who can do it in any country in which it is possible to do it, in order to liberate the al-Aqsa Mosque and the holy mosque [Mecca] from their grip, and in order for their armies to move out of all the lands of Islam, defeated and unable to threaten any Muslim.

4. I am one of the servants of Allah. We do our duty of fighting for the sake of the religion of Allah. It is also our duty to send a call to all the people of the world to enjoy this great light and to embrace Islam and experience the happiness in Islam. Our primary mission is nothing but the furthering of this religion.

5. The pieces of the bodies of infidels were flying like dust particles. If you would have seen it with your own eyes, you would have been very pleased, and your heart would have been filled with joy.

6. In today's wars, there are no morals. We believe the worst thieves in the world today and the worst terrorists are the Americans. We do not have to differentiate between military or civilian. As far as we are concerned, they are all targets.

7. And as I looked at those demolished towers in Lebanon, it entered my mind that we should punish the oppressor in kind and that we should destroy towers in America in order that they taste some of what we tasted and so that they be deterred from killing our women and children.

Spot the Not #88 - wacky political nicknames

All of the following are real nicknames given to politicians except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Margaret Thatcher, The Milk Snatcher

2. John Adams, His Rotundity

3. Grover Cleveland, His Obstinancy

4. Martin Van Buren, The Careful Dutchman

5. Gerald Ford, His Accidency

6. Grover Cleveland, Uncle Jumbo

Spot the Not #87 - George Bernard Shaw

All the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. The world is to the big and powerful states by necessity; and the little ones must come within their border or be crushed out of existence.

2. And I, who said forty years ago that we should have had Socialism already but for the Socialists, am quite willing to drop the name if dropping it will help me to get the thing.

3. Since my boyhood I never talked about myself. That was my nature. I was taciturn. I'm quite modest. I don't want to tell people that I'm a leader.'

4. I appeal to the chemists to discover a humane gas that will kill instantly and painlessly. Deadly, by all means, but not cruel.

5. You must all know half a dozen people at least who are no use in this world, who are more trouble than they are worth. Just put them there and say Sir, or Madam, now will you be kind enough to justify your existence?

6. I told you that what you had to do in this country was to abolish your constitution, which was preventing you from doing anything. And now you see what's happened since. Every attempt you've made to do anything the Supreme Court immediately stops it and says it's against the constitution.

Spot the Not #86 - Donald Trump

All the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Love him or hate him, Trump is a man who is certain about what he wants and sets out to get it, no holds barred. Women find his power almost as much of a turn-on as his money.

2. I was never in this for the money. But it turns out that the money was an absolute necessity for me.

3. The beauty of me is that I'm very rich.

4. When we go in church and I drink the little wine, which is about the only wine I drink, and I eat the little cracker.

5. Sorry losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure. It's not your fault.

6. My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body.

Spot the Not #85 - drug warrior quotes

All the following are real quotes from them except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. It may seem contradictory, but the unfortunate level of violence is a sign of success in the fight against drugs.

2. America's public enemy number one in the United States is drug abuse.

3. No one knows, when he places a marijuana cigarette to his lips, whether he will become a joyous reveller in a musical heaven, a mad insensate, a calm philosopher, or a murderer.

4. Give one of these Mexican beet field workers a couple of puffs on a marijuana cigarette and he thinks he is in the bullring at Barcelona.

5. These vile narcotics are poisoning our children and stoking chaos amongst the Negroes.

6. I wish I could show you what a small marihuana cigarette can do to one of our degenerate Spanish-speaking residents.

Spot the Not #84 - Elliot Spitzer

All the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Yes, people pull the trigger - but guns are the instrument of death. Gun control is necessary, and delay means more death and horror.

2. The pace of global warming is accelerating, and the scale of the impact is devastating.

3. Let's create a regime that makes sale of bullets to anybody not licensed to carry a gun illegal, makes resale illegal, micro-stamps bullets so they can be traced. No Second Amendment issues here.

4. In a moment of personal weakness, I regrettably gave into temptation.

5. Delay is the enemy of progress.

6. In politics you learn to always smile.

Spot the Not #83 - Garrison Keilor

All the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. I like Republicans. I used to spend Sunday afternoons with a bunch of them, drinking Scotch and soda and trying to care about NFL football. It was fun. I tried to think like them...But I came back to liberal elitism.

2. Alas for the Trump voters, the disasters he will bring on this country will fall more heavily on them than anyone else. The uneducated white males who elected him are the vulnerable ones, and they will not like what happens next.

3. Election Day was a terrible defeat for everyone who cares about tolerance, diversity, and the earth. Rubes, yokels, bumpkins- call them what you will. Their hatred and ignorance was triumphant.

4. The Trumpers never expected their guy to actually win the thing, and that's their problem now. They wanted only to whoop and yell, boo at the H-word, wear profane T-shirts, maybe grab a crotch or two, jump in the RV with a couple of six-packs and go out and shoot some spotted owls.

5. So he won. The nation takes a deep breath. Raw ego and proud illiteracy have won out, and a severely learning-disabled man with a real character problem will be president.

6. We liberal elitists are now completely in the clear. The government is in Republican hands. Let them deal with him. Democrats can spend four years raising heirloom tomatoes, meditating, reading Jane Austen, traveling around the country, tasting artisan beers...

Spot the Not #82 - the scholarly works of Professor Melissa Click

All of the following are actual things she wrote except one. Can you Spot the Not? 

1. The Red Queen Hypothesis: the coded sexism of playing cards and poker

2. "Let's Hug It Out, Bitch": Audience response to hegemonic masculinity in Entourage.

3. Who dunnit?: The utility of theorizing (in)visible identities in feminist action.

4. Fifty Shades of postfeminism: Contextualizing readers' reflections on the erotic romance series.

5. Bitten by Twilight: Youth culture, media, and the vampire franchise.

6. Making monsters: Lady Gaga, fan identification, and social media.

Spot the Not #81 - Mike Tyson

All the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. I'm a dreamer. I have to dream and reach for the stars, and if I miss a star then I grab a handful of clouds.

2. I could feel his muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm.

3. I will punch him until his guts are coming out of his mouth and then play jump rope with his intestines.

4. My biggest weakness is my sensitivity. I am too sensitive a person.

5. I just want to conquer people and their souls.

6. I don't understand why people would want to get rid of pigeons. They don't bother no one.

7. I just don't kill anything no more. I used to kill pigeons, rip their heads off, 'You dirty rat pigeon!' I don't even have the heart to kill an animal no more. I just changed my whole life in general.

8. My style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart! I want to eat his children! Praise be to Allah!

9. I wish that you guys had children so I could kick them in the fucking head or stomp on their testicles so you could feel my pain because that's the pain I have waking up every day.

10. I ain't the same person I was when I bit that guy's ear off.

11. I probably have a 20,000-word vocabulary. I'll match my wits with anyone on literature, science and the arts.

12. Do you know what I do sometimes? Put on a ski mask and dress in old clothes, go out on the streets and beg for quarters.

13. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like an infantile retard.

14. He called me a rapist and a recluse.  I'm not a recluse.

15. Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth.

Spot the Not #80 - sound as a weapon

All of the following statements are true except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. The US used rock 'n roll to pester Noriega while took refuge in the Vatican embassy.

2. The Israeli Davidka mortar made a terrifying shriek and an explosion so loud the Arabs first thought they were atomic weapons.

3. During the battle of Stalingrad, the Russians had loudspeakers play the sound of a metronome along with the message "every 7 seconds, another German soldier dies."

4. During WWI, The British sent many bagpipe players into battle against the Turks, as the music tended to frighten them more.

5. During the Vietnam War, Operation Wandering Soul used loudspeakers to broadcast spooky noises and the voice of a Vietcong "ghost".

6. During WW2, a German dive bomber was equipped with "Jericho trumpets" which made a terrifying shriek when the plane went into a dive.

Spot the Not #79 - Salon & friends on Hillary Clinton

All of the following are real headlines and quotes except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. The science behind Hillary Clinton's problems with trust

2. The moral case for Hillary Clinton: Even if you might dislike her, this isn't the year to back a third-party candidate

3. Hillary's amazing achievement: Understanding the magnitude of Clinton's historic win

4. Paul Krugman: Only Hillary Clinton can save the American economy

5. Hillary Clinton isn't Darth Vader- she's General Leia, hard at work because she has to be

6. Thomas Friedman: Clinton is the bitter pill we must swallow

Spot the Not #78 - Alternet on Trump

All the following are real Alternet headlines except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Noam Chomsky: Trump's Propaganda Machine Rivals Nazis

2. The Unprecedented Nightmare of Donald Trump

3. Robert Reich: Donald Trump, 21st-Century American Fascist

4. Donald Trump's Campaign of Terror

5. Michael Moore Gives 5 Scary Reasons Why Trump Will Win

6. Donald Trump's Latest Ignorance Is Just Breathtaking

Spot the Not #77 - John Podesta

All of the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. I think it's time to open the books, on questions that have remained in the dark on the question of government investigations of UFOs, it's time to find out what the truth really is that's out there.

2. Finally, my biggest failure of 2014: Once again not securing the disclosure of the UFO files.

3. I believe that President Clinton considered the legal merits of the arguments for the pardon as he understood them, and he rendered his judgment, wise or unwise, on the merits.

4. More attention and more discussion about unexplained aerial phenomena can happen without people   who are in public life, who are serious about this   being ridiculed.

5. There's classified government information I've been trying to access, but someone has been blocking my attempts to get at it.

6. The American people and people around the world want to know, and they can handle the truth.

Spot the Not #76 - Gary Johnson

All of the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Reality is for people who can't handle drugs.

2. Every time you pass a law, it is a little bite out of freedom.

3. I don't think you'll ever hear me invoking God in anything I do.

4. I don't believe there should be any restrictions when it comes to firearms. None.

5. Let's end the drug wars. Let's balance the federal budget, and that means reforming the entitlements - Medicaid, Medicare.

6. I reject the insurance model. I think we should have a free-market approach to healthcare.

Spot the Not #75 - Charles E Coughlin

All of the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. When we get through with the Jews in America, they'll think the treatment they received in Germany was nothing.

2. On this earth you must belong to the church militant or get the hell out of it. That's the right word. You're either with me or against me.

3. I have dedicated my life to fight against the heinous rottenness of modern capitalism because it robs the laborer of this world's goods.

4. We must not tolerate oppressive government or industrial oligarchy in the form of monopolies and cartels.

5. God is directing President Roosevelt.

6. The New Deal is Christ's Deal.

Spot the Not #74 - James Comey

All the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Encryption threatens to lead all of us to a very dark place.

2. The spine of the FBI is the rule of law.

3. There is no such thing as absolute privacy in America.

4. I see the government operating the way the founders intended.

5. The Internet is the most dangerous parking lot imaginable.

6. Despite his personal flaws, J Edgar Hoover is one of my heroes.

Spot the Not #73 - wacky censorship

All the following are true statements except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. It is illegal to own a typewriter in Cuba without a license.

2. The Weird Al song "Don't Download this Song" was censored by MTV because it mentioned the names of file sharing sites.

3. It is illegal in China to mention the date of the Tiananmen Square massacre.

4. It is illegal in Germany to draw a swastika with a "no" symbol on top of it.

5. An episode of Star Trek the Next Generation was censored in the UK because it called the IRA's terror campaign a success.

6. It is illegal in India to use the phrase "new and improved" in advertising.

Spot the Not #72 - seafood monsters!

All of the following are real aquatic creatures except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. 44 lb lobster

2. 907 lb tuna

3. 18-inch-long shrimp

4. 9 lb oyster

5. 126 lb salmon

6. 12 ft wide crab

Spot the Not #71 - weird saints

All of the following are real saints except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Saint Isidore: Patron Saint of the Internet

2. Saint Drogo: Patron Saint of Ugly People

3. Saint Athanasius: Patron Saint of Dentists

4. Saint Ambrose: Patron Saint of Beekeepers

5. Saint Cajetan: Patron Saint of the Unemployed

6. Saint Genesius: Patron Saint of Clowns

Spot the Not #70 - William Jennings Bryan

All of the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. If the Bible had said that Jonah swallowed the whale, I would believe it.

2. No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

3. All the ills from which America suffers can be traced to the teaching of evolution.

4. The parents have a right to say that no teacher paid by their money shall rob their children of faith in God and send them back to their homes skeptical, or infidels, or agnostics, or atheists.

5. The Bible says it, I believe it, that's the end of it.

6. Plutocracy is abhorrent to a republic; it is more despotic than monarchy, more heartless than aristocracy, more selfish than bureaucracy. It preys upon the nation in time of peace and conspires against it in the hour of its calamity.

Spot the Not #69 - Albert J Beveridge

All of the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. God has not been preparing the English-speaking and Teutonic peoples for a thousand years for nothing but vain and idle self-admiration.

2. We are a conquering race. We must obey our blood and occupy new markets and if

necessary new lands.

3. It is a noble land that God has given us: a land that can feed and clothe the world; a land whose coastlines would enclose half the countries of Europe; a land set like a sentinel between the two imperial oceans of the globe.

4. Since it is the evident destiny of the British and the Americans to rule the world, the better we know each other, the better job we will do.

5. America would be better off as a country and Americans happier and more prosperous as a

people if half of our Government boards, bureaus and commissions were abolished, hundreds

of thousands of our Government officials, agents and employees were discharged and two-thirds of our Government regulations, restrictions and inhibitions were removed.

6. God has marked the American people as His chosen nation to finally lead in the regeneration of the world.

Spot the Not #68 - wacky business names

All the following are the names of real businesses except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Mammoth Erection Scaffolders

2. Boring Business Systems

3. Molestin Sheep

4. Kidsexchange

5. Camel Towing

6. Doggy Style Designs

Spot the Not #67 - wacky criminal excuses

All of the following are actual excuses used by criminals except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. I'm a werewolf.

2. I closed one eye to stop seeing double so I could drive drunk.

3. This isn't a burglary; we were told everything was free.

4. I thought my lucky penny would protect me.

5. I'm not a bad driver; it was a tarantula attack.

6. I didn't break into this car; a leprechaun let me in. 

Spot the Not #66 - unintended consequences

All of the following statements are real except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. In Hanoi, under French colonial rule, a program paying people a bounty for each rat tail handed in was intended to exterminate rats. Instead, it led to the farming of rats.

2. In British India, colonial officials paid a bounty for dead cobras. People began breeding cobras to collect the bounty. Officials then quickly canceled the bounty, which resulted in countless cobras being set free. The cobra population became larger than before the bounty.

3. From 2007 to 2010, Maryland had a tax just for millionaires. It was projected to increase revenue. Instead, the state collected $1.7 billion less than before and had a net population loss of 31,000.

4. In Ireland, a campaign to get to people to pledge not to drink alcohol led to an increase in people sniffing gasoline.

5. In 1990, Congress passed a luxury tax on planes, yachts, and jewelry that was projected to raise $31 million in revenue. Instead, it cost $24.2 million in lost revenue and unemployment benefits for the more than 100,000 people who lost their jobs as a result of the tax.

6. In China, Mao launched a campaign to rid China of sparrows which ate grain and reduced harvests. Sparrows were nearly wiped out, but their absence led to an explosion in the locust population, which led to even greater crop losses than from the sparrows.

Spot the Not #65 - quotes about the US from its enemies

All of the following are real quotes from American adversaries except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. The Americans have the watches, but we have the time.

2. The Americans are good at making fancy cars and refrigerators, but that doesn't mean they are any good at making aircraft.

3. In appearance it is very powerful but in reality it is nothing to be afraid of; it is a paper tiger.

4. That paper tiger has nuclear teeth.

5. No matter how desperately the U.S. may roar, it is nothing but roar of a toothless wolf.The incarnation of all sorts of evil, the empire of devils, is bound to grow old and go to ruin.

6. The Americans are a little people, a silly people- greedy, barbarous, and cruel.

7. The Americans are stuck in Iraq and have no way out. They are like a wolf whose tail has been caught in a trap.

Spot the Not #64 - Keith Olbermann

He actually said two of the items below. Can you spot the one he didn't say?

1. So, besides urinating on the Constitution and the rights and freedoms every American soldier has ever fought to win and protect, the Bush administration has now decided that when its victims have actually served their sentences, doled out under its own medieval, quote,  justice,  unquote, system, it still might not choose to set them free, thereby giving that Constitution and our country a second pass on the way out.

2. [The Tea Party-backed Republicans are] a group of unqualified, unstable individuals who will do what they are told, in exchange for money and power, and march this nation as far backward as they can get, backward to Jim Crow, or backward to the breadlines of the '30s, or backward to hanging union organizers, or backward to the trusts and the robber barons.

3. We are at a crossroads. I fear we are once again in danger of slipping into a solipsistic morass of anti-intellectual parochial conservative jingoism. The kind of thought that America is always right and true and we can therefore do whatever as we wish, because the world is our free-market oyster.

Spot the Not #63 - Chris Matthews

He actually said two of the items below. Can you spot the thing he didn't say?

1. I look at Obama as a perfect American. I don't mean politically. We can disagree left and right on him. You can argue about the drones. Argue about the fiscal policy, all that stuff. But as a citizen. The guy went to school, he never broke a law. He did everything right. He raised a wonderful family. He's a good husband, a good father. My God I don t think he's ever gotten a speeding ticket.

2. Whenever I hear him speak, I get this thrill up my leg. Here is an articulate, progressive president who is also African-American. Every word he speaks helps dissolve our racist and hateful past. And he will bring us all together to build a nation we can all be proud of.

3. What are the Tea Partiers really angry about? Health care reform, or the fact that it was an African American President and a woman Speaker of the House who pushed through major change?

Spot the Not #62 - Melissa Harris Perry

She actually said two of the items below. Can you spot the thing she didn't say?

1. Part of it is, we have to break through our kind of private idea that kids belong to their parents, or kids belong to their families, and recognize that kids belong to whole communities.

2. I want to talk today about a controversial word. It's a word that has been with us for years. And like it or not, it's indelibly printed in the pages of American history. A word that was originally intended as a derogatory term, meant to shame and divide and demean. The word was conceived of by a group of wealthy white men who needed a way to put themselves above and apart from a black man, to render him inferior and unequal and diminish his accomplishments.

3. Rich people take more risks!? Being poor is what is risky! They face hunger, poverty, crime, violence, prejudice & so much more. There is nothing more risky than being poor in this country. Rich people have safety net after safety net to catch them. Poor people do not, because they have a different skin color.

Spot the Not #61 - Rachel Maddow

She actually said two of the things below. Can you spot the one she didn't say?

1. As you can tell, my Halloween costume this year is once again middle-aged lesbian pundit in cheap jacket. Boo.

2. So once more the Republicans have retreat to their "no girls or gays allowed" tree house. They're like a right-wing version of Little Rascals.

3. Sarah Palin is now the guy who hangs out in the high school parking lot showing off his car, five years after he graduated.

Spot the Not #60 - Ed Schultz

He actually said two of the items below. Can you spot the one he didn't say?

1. There is one reason and one reason only why the President's agenda is stuck in the mud: Obstructionism. Republics in Congress have fought tooth and nail, kicking and screaming to thwart Obama's agenda on jobs, healthcare, common-sense gun control and more. It's shameful and I'm calling it out.

2. I do believe that the conservatives in this country continue to fuel racism by their policies that attack minorities in this country and try to keep the working folk down. It emboldens people who are in power to say what they say with absolutely no responsibility whatsoever.

3. It amazes me that people don't love Obama. It amazes me that the conservatives who are seeing the stock market go through the roof in dealing with a President who has pretty much been hands-off on Wall Street, it just amazes me he can't get above 50 percent when it comes to a favorable view of the economy.

Spot the Not #59 - Barack Obama

Can you spot the fake quote in the list below? The other two are things he actually said.

1. There are those who say that the budget must be balanced at any cost. They are mistaken. We must not return to the failed policies of the past. We can make smart choices that cut the deficit and create jobs. And part of that is making sure those who are well-off pay their fair share.

2. The thing about hip-hop today is it's smart, it's insightful. The way they can communicate a complex message in a very short space is remarkable.

3. America and Islam are not exclusive and need not be in competition. Instead, they overlap, and share common principles of justice and progress, tolerance and the dignity of all human beings.

Spot the Not #58 - translated names of martial arts

All of the following are the translated names of real martial arts except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. fast fist

2. great skill

3. empty hands

4. gentle art

5. touch fighting

6. stomp fist discipline

Spot the Not #57 - Lindsey Graham

Two of the following are real quotes from him. Can you Spot the Not?

1. The American consumer is also the American worker, and if we don't do something to protect our manufacturing base here at home, it is going to be hard to buy any retail goods.

2. The sooner we get started with alternative energy sources and recognize that fossil fuels makes us less secure as a nation, and more dangerous as a planet, the better off we'll be.

3. I support sensible, common-sense gun and body armor regulations to help protect the police who patrol our nation. We need to be tough on crime for the children.

Spot the Not #56 - Bill O'Reilly

Two of the following are real quotes from him. Can you Spot the Not?

1. It's discipline that begets love.

2. You don't have free will when you have lung cancer.

3. Americans will respect your beliefs if you just keep them private.

Spot the Not #55 - Eric Holder

Can you spot the fake quote in the list below? The other two are things he actually said.

1. I am the attorney general of the United States, but I am also a black man.

2. No one is more shocked and outraged at the Fast and Furious scandal than I.

3. The inability to pass reasonable gun safety laws after the Newtown massacre is something that weighs heavily on my mind.

Spot the Not #54 - Robert Reich

Can you spot the fake quote in the list below? The other two are things he actually said.

1. What someone is paid has little or no relationship to what their work is worth to society.

2. Every day is a gift. That's why it's called the present.

3. You can't create a political movement out of pabulum.

Spot the Not #53 - quotes about Obama

All the following are quotes from real people about Obama except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. We're gonna spread happiness. We're gonna spread freedom. Obama's gonna change it, Obama's gonna lead 'em. He's gonna change it...re-arrange it....we're gonna change the world

2. I remember distinctly an image of--we were sitting on his couches, and I was looking at his pant leg and his perfectly creased pant, and I'm thinking, a) he's going to be president and b) he'll be a very good president.

3. ...a light will shine down from somewhere. It will light upon you. You will experience an epiphany. And you will say to yourself, I have to vote for Barack. I have to do it.

4. He is not the Word made flesh but the triumph of the word over flesh.

5. I won't have to worry about putting gas in my car, I won't have to worry about paying my mortgage, you know, if I help him, he'll help me.

6. Many spiritually advanced people I know (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment. These kinds of people actually help us evolve. They are philosophers and peacemakers of a very high order, and they speak not just to reason or emotion, but to the soul.

7. And I also want to say this is the very first time that I have felt that God was in the White House.

Spot the Not #52 - Pat Robertson

All the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not? 

1. Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.

2. I'm parodied as being some right-wing fundamentalist extremist, it just isn't true. The parody doesn't reflect reality.

3. I know one man who was impotent who gave AIDS to his wife and the only thing they did was kiss.

4. I have a zero tolerance for sanctimonious morons who try to scare people.

5. I thought that communism, the tyranny of communism, was an abomination and I beseeched God to bring that terrible evil down and he did. It was a great triumph, it took a while, but it happened.

6. If our Lord wasn't testing us, how would you account for the proliferation, these days, of this obscene rock and roll music, with its gospel of easy sexuality and relaxed morality?

7. I am remarkably pleased with Obama. I had grave misgivings about him.

8. Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French... and they got together and swore a pact to the devil.

9. The Supreme Court has insulted you over and over again, Lord. They've taken your Bible away from the schools. They've forbidden little children to pray.

Spot the Not #51 - staying alive!

 All of the following are real feats of survival except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. survived 76 days in life raft adrift in the Atlantic

2. ate nothing for 1 year and 17 days

3. survived being shot down and crawled through almost 50 miles of jungle to reach safety

4. survived 24 days without food or water on a freezing mountain

5. survived 43 days in the cold on nothing but 2 candy bars, a caterpilar, and snow

6. left for dead after a bear attack, he crawled and limped more than 200 miles to reach safety

Spot the Not #50 - tough talk

All the following are quotes from real people except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Welcome to hell, bin Laden.

2. There are some who, uh, feel like that, you know, the conditions are such that they can attack us there. My answer is: bring 'em on.

3. Hey, Colonel, did you ever have a hostile point an M-16 at your head from 10 yards away? That happened to me while I was covering the Falklands war.

4. I'll tear them apart. I may not come out alive, but I'm going in there.

5. We'll put a boot up your ass; it's the American way.

6. I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles and get to our base.

Spot the Not #49 - less famous 2016 GOP candidates

All the following are real biographies of 2016 GOP candidates except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. This man is a dauntlessly religious man and a rock-solid conservative, advocating alcohol prohibition and the criminalization of homosexuality, among other right-wing positions.

2. He has a number of right-leaning ideas, including a 100% porn tax. He also favors "mandatory expungement": Six months after being convicted of a serious crime, your record is wiped clean. Even minor offenses would be forgotten after 3 months.

3. An eccentric fellow who enjoys coming up with some very creative inventions, he is running for the GOP nomination in 2016. He has a very dim view of terrorists and drug traffickers; in fact, he wants to deploy weapons to fry them from orbit.

4. He is a diverse candidate who probably has at least one opinion to please anyone. Few politicians are able to satisfy both a pro-legalization marijuana advocate and a staunch pro-lifer. Of course, this also means most would object to a majority of his platform.

5. A strong conservative with an extremely dim view of large banks, he calls the integrity of mainstream politicians into question and accuses them of catering to monied special interests. He strongly believes a President should serve only a single term.

6. A self-made millionaire known as The Dildo King, he calls for public executions of terrorists and corrupt government officials.

Spot the Not #48 - less famous 2016 Democrat candidates

All of the following are real biographies of 2016 Democrat candidates except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Spent 30 years as a vagabond; his many jobs included mime, clown, lion tamer, medical experiment volunteer, rodeo clown, tattoo artist, stevedore, and door-to-door salesman. He pledges to restart the Civilian Conservation Corps to help unemployed young people.

2. Fairly mundane liberal politics with a few conservative leanings, he believes that the NSA is bugging his phone and trying to poison him in an effort to cover up the truth about 9/11.

3. Deeply concerned about environmental disaster, he looks to the construction of arcologies for shelter from the coming chaos.

4. He is a classic rags-to-riches American success story. The poor Louisiana boy who fled conditions he considered to be virtual slavery and once worked as a janitor for $2 an hour eventually came to own the stores he used to mop.

5. He believes the middle class has been disenfranchised in modern America and feels it's important to rectify that by lowering or eliminating taxes on the less fortunate.

6. This retired USAF member and father of nine definitely brings something different to the table. He is in his eighth consecutive run for the Presidency, which he entered because he was "commanded of the Lord to enter the race to become President of the United States of America". 

Spot the Not #47 - how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

All of the following statements are true except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. The Sunni/Shia split came from an argument over who should have been Mohamed's successor

2. One reason for the Schism of 1054 was whether leavened or unleavened bread should be used for communion.

3. Buddhism was split over how much saints should be worshiped.

4. Judaism split over the correct diameter of yarmulkes.

5. The Mormon Church split over whether polygamy should be allowed.

6. The Russian Orthodox Church split over how to bend their fingers to make the sign of the cross.

Spot the Not #46 - Sean Hannity

Can you spot the fake quote in the following list? The other two are things he actually said. 

1. Let me tell you something: I stand with the president and our brave men and women in uniform. They defend our freedom.

2. Why should one U.S. airman give up his life when our national security is not in imminent danger?

3. Governor, why wouldn't anyone want to say the Pledge of Allegiance, unless they detested their own country or were ignorant of its greatness?

Spot the Not #45 - Leonard Peikoff

All of the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. [Regarding the so-called Ground Zero Mosque] Any way possible permission should be refused and if they go ahead and build it, the government should bomb it out of existence, evacuating it first, with no compensation to any of the property owners involved in this monstrosity.

2. Responsible parenthood involves decades devoted to the child s proper nurture. To sentence a woman to bear a child against her will is an unspeakable violation of her rights: her right to liberty (to the functions of her body), her right to the pursuit of happiness, and, sometimes, her right to life itself, even as a serf.

3. Every argument for God and every attribute ascribed to Him rests on a false metaphysical premise. None can survive for a moment on a correct metaphysics.

4. Teach these boys and girls nothing but Facts. Facts alone are wanted in life. Plant nothing else and root out everything else. You can only form the minds of reasoning animals upon facts.

5. Statism and the advocacy of reason are philosophical opposites. They cannot coexist neither in a philosophic system nor in a nation.

6. What is is. Perceive It. Integrate it. Act on it. Idealize it.

Spot the Not #44 - Rick Perry

Can you spot the fake quote in the list below? 

1. When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas.

2. You can be sure our country is going astray when two men can get "married" but kids can't pray in school.

3. There is evil prowling in the world - it shows up in our movies, video games and online fascinations, and finds its way into vulnerable hearts and minds.

Spot the Not #43 - Chris Christie

All the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Newt Gingrich's personal life is much bigger embarrassment to the GOP than my weight.

2. If I missed my moment, I missed my moment. I mean, I wasn't pining to be president of the United States.

3. Well, let me tell you, after three years of Obama, we are hopeless and changeless, and we need Mitt Romney to bring us back, to bring America back.

Spot the Not #42 - Phyllis Schlafly

All of the following are real quotes from her except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Sex education classes are like in-home sales parties for abortions.

2. My ears are not garbage cans. Obscenity laws ought to be enforced vigorously.

3. Sexual harassment on the job is not a problem for virtuous women.

4. The worst censors are those prohibiting criticism of the theory of evolution in the classroom.

5. It is long overdue for parents to realize they have the right and duty to protect our children against the intolerant evolutionists.

6. What I am defending is the real rights of women. A woman should have the right to be in the home as a wife and mother.

Spot the Not #41 - wacky superstitions from around the world

All of the following are real superstitions except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Many in Japan believe your personality is determined by your blood type.

2. Many in Brazil believe that putting your purse on the floor will cause you to lose money.

3. Many Rwanda believe that women should not eat goat meat, as they believe it will cause them to grow beards.

4. Many in Turkey believe that one should not chew gum at night, because the gum transforms into human flesh after dark.

5. Many on the British island of Dorset believe that saying the word "rabbit" brings bad luck. Rabbits are called "underground mutton" instead.

6. Many in Papua New Guinea believe in changing their names whenever someone dies. That way, if Death returns to the same village, it will get confused and leave.

Spot the Not #40 - crazy San Francisco laws

All of the following are real laws there except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. It is illegal to sell bottled water.

2. It is illegal to give free toys in Happy meals.

3. It's illegal to store anything in your garage except your car.

4. If you live in San Francisco, you must recycle.

5. It is illegal to display an American flag on any day except the 4th of July.

6. If you want to be naked in public then you have to get a parade permit.

Spot the Not #39 - Nicolas Maduro

 All of the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. They inoculated Commander Chavez with that illness to get him out of the way and create a situation of destruction for Venezuela and its independent revolution.

2. Multiply ourselves, like Christ multiplied the penises.

3. We are all a little bit hippy, a little bohemian. We take that from the culture we knew, from the '70s and the '80s.

4. Fidel Castro represents the dignity of the South American continent against empires. He's a living legend: an icon of independence and freedom across the continent.

5. The United States are ruled by a financial, media-centered, military-industrial apparatus. Behind Obama's grin, he orders bombings.

6. Our enemies are all those in league with imperialism. Our enemies are all around us. We must always be on our guard.

Spot the Not #38 - Reza Aslan

Spot the Not! 2 of the following are real quotes from Muslim apologist and Christianity "expert" Reza Aslan:

1. I am a scholar of religions with four degrees, including one in the New Testament and fluency in Biblical Greek, who has been studying the origins of Christianity for two decades, who also happens to be Muslim.

2. The caricatures and cartoons which have appeared are a very serious issue as far as Muslims are concerned. Western governments and Western media need to appreciate that Muslims take their religion very seriously.

3. There's nothing more distasteful than an academic having to, like, trot out his credentials. You really come off as a jerk when you do that. 

Spot the Not #37 - John Ashcroft

All of the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.

2. I'm trying to think of all the reasons that are appropriate for me to refuse to answer that question.

3. [singing] Let the eagle soar

Like she's never soared before

From rocky coast to golden shore

Let the mighty eagle soar

Soar with healing in her wings

As the land beneath her sings

4. Unique among the nations, America recognized the source of our character as being godly and eternal, not being civic and temporal. And because we have understood that our source is eternal, America has been different. We have no king but Jesus.

5. To those who scare peace-loving people with phantoms of lost liberty, my message is this: Your tactics only aid terrorists, for they erode our national unity and diminish our resolve.

6. I don't think it's quite fair to condemn a whole program because of a single slip-up.

Spot the Not #36 - Thomas Piketty

All of the following quotes from him are real except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. My premise is not to tax to destroy the wealth of the wealthy; it's to increase the wealth of the bottom and the middle class.

2. I draw my inspiration from Sweden, not the Soviet Union. I have never advocated a centrally-planned economy.

3. I am not political. It is not my job. But I would be happy if politicians could read my work and draw some conclusions from it.

4. One way to have broader access to wealth is to reduce the tax on the large group and increase the tax on the very top so concentration of wealth doesn't get to extreme levels.

5. I loved American universities. In many ways, they are better organized - certainly than French universities.

6. To put it bluntly, the discipline of economics has yet to get over its childish passion for mathematics.

Thoughts on the aperiodic monotile and its application to cryptography

It's made up of 8 kite-shaped tiles. I haven't checked, but they seem to be non-cyclic quadrilaterals. Intriguingly, each kite shape is made up of 2 right triangles joined along the hypotenuse.

One could argue that the true monotile is the kite shape. It also would not surprise me if any non-cyclic quadrilateral made up of right triangles would also be a monotile.

Now imagine the tile above (or joined set of them) is laid on a grid. It would be easy enough to send a few sets of coordinates for the vertices to someone so they could verify with their own tile key that you are trustworthy. 

Verifying the coordinates of the vertices is easy, but reconstructing the key from that info is hard. It's the geometric equivalent of the integer factorization problem and thus represents a kind of one-way function. 

Furthermore, any right triangle can be divided into an arbitrary number of similar right triangles. By picking a set of similar right triangles and constructing a monotile pattern, one could make an infinite number of geometric keys, sort of like the way random numbers are used in one-time pad cryptography.

Another way to think of is like a prison steganography template, the kind with a few holes that when placed on a letter reveals the actual message while the rest of the text of the letter is just a distraction. 

 

Spot the Not #35 - Everyday Feminism headlines

All of the following are real except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. 8 Signs Your Yoga Practice Is Culturally Appropriated- And Why It Matters

2. Yes, You Still Have Thin Privilege If You "Worked For" Your Body- Here's Why

3. Dear White America: You Are All Responsible For Trump

4. Why Owning a Gun is no Different Than Being in the KKK

5. 5 Rules for White People with Black Friends

6. 4 Reasons It's Oppressive to Discuss Gender and Sexuality Without Naming Race

Spot the Not #34 - deus sex machina

All of the following items are true except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. The black stone inside the Kaaba in Mecca is seated inside a silver vagina sculpture.

2. A Shinto ritual involves attaching notes with pins to a giant wooden penis.

3. The medical condition of a painful, persistent erection is named after a Roman god depicted with an erection.

4. An Egyptian god known as the creator of all has his penis in his left hand and a flail in his right.

5. A Hindu god is depicted in the pose of auto-fellatio while also fisting an elephant.

6. This Aztec goddess of adultery and filth is depicted with a rainbow of "holy shit" around her mouth.

Spot the Not #33 - things that happened to me during basic training at Fort Sill

All of the following items are true except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1) a drill sgt tried to run me over with a bus

2) I was nicknamed "Mailman"

3) When I got my head shaved, I told the barber, "Just a little off the top"

4) I did 580 pushups in an hour

5) I got paid to watch a Kung Fu movie

6) I spent an hour outside in the wind and sleet with no hat or gloves

Spot the Not #32 - jihad song lyrics

All the following except one are real lyrics from jihad songs. Can you Spot the Not?

1. The rattle of spearheads is the melody of men

2. The clashing of swords is the song of the proud and the path of fighting is the path of life

3. And in war there is might and a return of dignity

4. We are men who love death more than you love your life

5. The Islamic State has risen by the blood of the righteous

6. To die for Allah is a beautiful thing and to fight in his cause is the greatest honor

Spot the Not #31 - former jobs of ISIS fighters

All of the following were the former jobs of ISIS fighters except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. beekeeper

2. elementary school principal

3. perfume salesman

4. airline steward

5. Tunisian soldier

6. Starbucks barista

Spot the Not #30 - Henry Kissinger

All the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

2. The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.

3. A means can be justified only by its end. But the end in its turn needs to be justified.

4. America has no permanent friends or enemies, only interests.

5. Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.

6. In the 1950s and 1960s we put several thousand nuclear weapons into Europe. To be sure, we had no precise idea of what to do with them.

Spot the Not #29 - Francisco Macias Nguema, dictator of Equatorial Guinea

All of the following statements about him are true except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. He was the son of a witch doctor. He watched his father get punched to death when he was 9.

2. He kept the national treasury in a suitcase under his bed.

3. One Christmas, his soldiers dressed in Santa Claus costumes and executed 150 people in a soccer stadium.

4. He decreed that his name was the new official greeting. People caught not using it were fed to sharks.

5. 1/3 of the people fled the country during his rule. He banned fishing to keep people from escaping and put landmines on the only land route out of the country.

6. He changed the national motto to "There is no other God than Macias".

Spot the Not #28 - translated city names

All of the following are the translated names of real cities. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Love City

2. Flat Land

3. Foundation of Peace

4. Frog River

5. Center of the World

6. Gardens

Spot the Not #27 - Belarus & Lukashenko

All of the following statements are true except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Same president since 1994.

2. It is illegal to film the back of the president's head because he has a bald patch.

3. It's the only former Soviet republican where the intelligence agency is still called the KGB.

4. The president banned gold teeth and suggested instead that people should gnaw on bones to strengthen their teeth.

5. The president loves to play hockey. Other players are forbidden to bump into him during games.

6. In response criticism, the president said it's better to be a dictator than to be gay.

Spot the Not #26 - Howard Metzenbaum

All of the quotes below are from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. I don't care about crime, I just want to get the guns.

2. My thinking is if you have a gun, you should have to turn it in or go to prison.

3. No, we're not looking at how to control criminals... we're talking about banning the AK-47 and semi-automatic guns.

4. What good does it do to ban some guns. All guns should be banned.

5. Until we can ban all of them [firearms], then we might as well ban none.

6. Do not let the forces of evil take over to make this a Christian America.

Greetings to my readers in Saudi Arabia

 

When I was studying chemical engineering at WVU in 2006, I met a Saudi student named Sultan. He was very polite and friendly. His English was excellent. I miss him. 

Many years ago, I saw the famous movie called Lawrence of Arabia. It inspired me to learn Arabic and serve in the Army.

Maybe someday I will cross the Anvil of the Sun. 

I have crossed many deserts, but not the Nafud. 

Spot the Not #25 - famous scientific frauds

All of the following statements are true except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Not long after the discovery of x-rays, a French scientist claimed to have discovered a new type of ray, the n-ray. Scientists in other countries tried to detect n-rays, but only French scientists were successful.

2. This young German scientist had a promising career until he admitted that he had published fake results 16 times.

3. This Russian scientist claimed to have invented a resurrection machine. In fact, the dead were merely random drunks he found passed out on the streets of St Petersburg.

4. His perpetual motion machine drew huge crowds until it was revealed it was being secretly powered by an old man turning a crank with one hand and eating a loaf of bread with the other.

5. This anthropologist claimed to have discovered a Stone Age tribe- in fact, he bribed villagers to pose for pictures in caves while wearing loincloths.

6. This scientist claimed to have observed Lamarckian evolution in toads, when in fact his assistants had been secretly injecting ink them to make them look different.

Spot the Not #24 - Damnatio Memoriae

All of the following statements are true except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. After Peron was deposed, the new government made illegal to speak his name.

2. After Hollande divorced his wife, all pictures and documents referring to her were removed from the official web page of the president.

3. It is illegal in Iran to speak the name of Israel. It must always be called "the Zionist entity".

4. It was illegal in Uruguay to say the name of the Tupamaro rebel group.

5. The Hitler statue in Madame Tussaud's wax museum is the only one without an identifying label.

6. The uniforms of disgraced Canadian general Russell Williams were burned and his medals destroyed.

Spot the Not #23 - Anthony Weiner

All of the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. And you're a perfect person? You're my judge? What rabbi taught you that you're my judge?

2. Pictures get manipulated, pictures get dropped into accounts. We've asked an internet security firm and a law firm to take a hard look at this to come up with a conclusion about what happened and to make sure it doesn't happen again.

3.We're trying to get to the bottom of where the picture came from, and we're trying to get to the bottom of what it's of and who it's of.

4. Last Friday night, I Twitted a photograph of myself that I intended to send as a direct message as part of a joke to a woman in Seattle. Once I realized I posted to Twitter I panicked, I took it down and said that I had been hacked. I then continued with that story, to stick to that story which was a hugely regrettable mistake.

5. As a public figure, I am a lighting rod for personal attacks, both in person an now online. These cowardly attacks show we need tougher laws against hackers.

6. There's no doubt about it, earmarks are not very popular. There are good earmarks and bad earmarks. The good earmarks are the ones I get for my district.

Spot the Not #22 - Authentic SJW Gibberish

The following are all real SJW terms except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. white durability

2. white privilege

3. white fragility

4. institutional racism

5. implicit bias

6. whitesplaining

Spot the Not #21 - Matt Damon

All the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. It's just better to be yourself than to try to be some version of what you think the other person wants.

2. It's better to be a fake somebody than a real nobody.

3. Bond is part of the system. He's an imperialist and a misogynist, and he laughs at killing people, and he sits there slugging martinis.

4. Um, I'd rather pay for taxes than cut like, you know, Reading Is Fundamental or Head Start or some of these programs that are really helping kids. Uh, you know. Uh, why not?

5. But it's like you know, .. it's uhh it's, it's, it's like criminal that so little is asked of people who are getting so much. I don't mind paying more. I really don't mind paying more taxes.

6. I don't know if you know this, but we live on stolen land and this country was built on slavery and genocide.

Spot the Not #20 - Paul Lepage

The following are all real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. What I think we ought to do is bring the guillotine back. We could have public executions.

2. The traffickers ... these are guys by the name D-Money, Smoothie, Shifty. These type of guys that come from Connecticut, New York. They come up here, they sell their heroin, then they go back home.

3. They never admit it, but most women like it when a strong man takes control and slaps them when they get out of line.

4. Sen. Jackson claims to be for the people, but he's the first one to give it to the people without providing Vaseline.

5. If you take a plastic bottle and put it in the microwave and you heat it up, it gives off a chemical similar to estrogen. And so the worst case is some women might have little beards.

6. Everybody looks at the negative effects of global warming, but with the ice melting, the Northern Passage has opened up.

Spot the Not #19 - Wesley Clark

 All the following are real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. I like Hillary Clinton. I think she's - she's a fantastic leader.

2. I think that President Obama has the strongest record with veterans among any president in my lifetime.

3. Five-year-olds have an uncanny way of getting into your psyche, your self-esteem.

4. When Bill Clinton ran in '92, and I listened to him, and I had of course known of his record from Arkansas, I found him extraordinarily inspirational, and I voted Democratic.

5. Sometimes it's more important to consider others before yourself. It's what I'm expected to do.

6. Everybody in the military has a reputation, and usually it doesn't come out to the public.

Spot the Not #18 - Hillary's nomination speech

All the following are real quotes from her speech except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. And you know what, if fighting for affordable child care and paid family leave is playing the "woman card," then Deal Me In!

2. I'm not here to repeal the 2nd Amendment. I'm not here to take away your guns.

3. And though "we may not live to see the glory," as the song from the musical Hamilton goes, "let us gladly join the fight."

4. Bernie Sanders and I will work together to make college tuition-free for the middle class and debt-free for all! We will also liberate millions of people who already have student debt.

5. Unlike Donald Trump, I care about the middle class and will make sure the rich pay their fair share.

6. We have the most tolerant and generous young people we've ever had.

Spot the Not #17 - Hillary Clinton

The following are all real quotes from her except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. There are rich people everywhere. And yet they do not contribute to the growth of their own countries.....They don't invest in public schools, in public hospitals, in other kinds of development internally.

2. We are at a stage in history in which remolding society is one of the great challenges facing all of us in the West.

3. No. We just can't trust the American people to make those types of choices ... Government has to make those choices for people.

4. Probably my greatest challenge is staying humble and true to my Christian faith.

5. My husband may have his faults, but he has never lied to me.

6. I have to admit that a good deal of what my husband and I have learned (about Islam) has come from my daughter. (As) some of you who are our friends know, she took a course last year in Islamic history.

7. The last time I actually drove a car myself was 1996.

8. If you have guns in your home, tell your parents to keep them away from you and your friends and your little brothers and sisters.

Spot the Not #16 - famous women on Hillary Clinton

 The following are all real quotes except one. Can you Spot the Not?

Spot the Not: famous women on Clinton breaking the glass ceiling

1. Now, it's up to us to elect Hillary Clinton, perhaps the most experienced presidential candidate in history, to the White House where we need her to be.

2. There's so much more women need to accomplish to feel like we have arrived in American culture. Hillary Clinton's nomination is hopefully the beginning.

3. She's strong, smart, bold, and kind. She'll be an amazing president. It's time for a Mrs. President, and I can't think of anyone better than Hillary Clinton.

4. I feel a tremendous rush of pride because this is a woman who is more than qualified to be president. Isn't it interesting how a barrier seems insurmountable -- until it comes down? I hope girls across the country are thinking, "That could be me."

5. I won't say that I never thought I'd see the day when a woman would be nominated for president, because as a feminist, a mom and a leader of a national women's organization, I knew this day would come. But I'm particularly proud that it is Hillary Clinton who is making history today.

6. When Clinton graciously committed herself to campaigning for Obama and unifying the party, I was sad yet proud. When she made her 18-million-cracks-in-the-glass-ceiling speech, I wept. She will be a great president who will do her best to unite the country. I wish her the goddesses' speed.

Spot the Not #15 - things I said to drill sergeants

The following are all real things I said to them except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1) As you wish, Drill Sgt

2) Shall I continue, Drill Sgt?

3) Your left boot is untied, Drill Sgt

4) I'm trying, Drill Sgt, but it's like trying to jerk off while wearing boxing gloves.

5) I haven't called you anything except "Drill Sgt", Drill Sgt

6) I'm running on nothing but raw determination and honey lemon cough drops, Drill Sgt.

Spot the Not #14 - Trump tweets

The following are all real tweets from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses!

2. I should land a helicopter right on Mexico's head.

3. I would like to extend my best wishes to all, even the haters and the losers, on this special date, September 11th.

4. Lincoln Chaffee doesn't belong on stage. I wouldn't trust him to clean my house It's very big He would get lost.

5. Jeb forgot to renew the rights to his domain name for his website. Guess who bought his website?

6. Chris Christie is a fat untalented clown. Loser! Looks like Rosie O'Donnell without lipstick.

Spot the Not #13 - Sonia Sotomayor

The following are all real quotes from her except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Whether born from experience or inherent physiological or cultural differences our gender and national origins may and will make a difference in our judging

2. The Latina in me is an ember that blazes forever.

3. I have a very close relationship with my sister. My sister is a precious jewel.

4. I had no need to apologize that the look-wider, search-more affirmative action that Princeton and Yale practiced had opened doors for me.

5. My diabetes is such a central part of my life... it did teach me discipline... it also taught me about moderation.

6. I am a product of affirmative action. I am the perfect affirmative action baby. I am Puerto Rican, born and raised in the south Bronx. My test scores were not comparable to my colleagues at Princeton and Yale.

Spot the Not #12 - Tom Cotton

 The following are all real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Inflammatory passion and selfish interest characterizes most men, whereas ambition characterizes men who pursue and hold national office.

2. Ambition characterizes and distinguishes national officeholders from other kinds of human beings.

3. I will now yield the floor, but I will never yield in the defense of America's national security at any time or on any front.

4. If men have easy access to divorce, many will choose it thoughtlessly. They may not gain true happiness with their new trophy wives, but they certainly will not slide into the material indigence and emotional misery that awaits most divorced women

5. Counterfeit marriages and so-called civil unions are a threat to the health of our society, particularly families and children.

6. The problem of end-to-end encryption isn't just a terrorism issue. It is also a drug-trafficking, kidnapping, and child-pornography issue that impacts every state of the union. It's unfortunate that the great company Apple is becoming the company of choice for terrorists, drug dealers, and sexual predators of all sorts.

Spot the Not #11 - military training films

The following are all real film titles except one. Can you Spot the Not? 

1. Stay Alert, Stay Alive

2. How to Succeed with Brunettes

3. Combat in Deep Snow and Extreme Cold

4. Fighting Men: Keep it Clean

5. Know Your Clouds

6. Your Friend the Grenade

Spot the Not #10 - Derald Wing Sue, inventor of the term "microaggression"

The following are all real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. We must all strive to overcome our inborn racism, especially white men.

2. [M]ost well-intentioned White Americans have inherited the racial biases of their forebears...

3. We have been socialized into racist, sexist and heterosexist attitudes, beliefs and behaviors.

4. White American males constitute only 33% of the population. Yet, they occupy approximately [various stats]

5. the problem is that believe people microaggressions are very similar to the everyday incivility and rudeness that individuals, white Americans, experience in their day-to-day lives. They are quite different.

6. [T]he disparities and inequities we have in education, employment and health care, it is not due to the overt racists or the white supremacists.

Spot the Not #9 - Bill Weld

The following are all real quotes from him except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. There are some things the government can do and can do well. Roads, for example.

2. I think government has a major role to play in helping us with the pursuit of happiness.

3. It's not good for government to tell people that the world owes them a living and that things are free.

4. Government has a role as well in what is referred to as redistributive justice.

5. Opposing the free flow of goods or people is a bad idea.

6. I think coercive taxation is theft, and government has a moral duty to keep it to a minimum.

Spot the Not #8 - Todd Starnes

All of the following are real quotes from Todd Starnes except one. Can you Spot the Not? 

1. People with nontraditional genders are like people who want to identify as a pinecone or a chicken or a weed whacker.

2. Obama: "We don't know everything about the origins of the gospels." One word sir-- Jesus.

3. It's no secret that our nation's public universities want to transform American young people into a bunch of hyper-sensitive, intellectually-neutered cream puffs.

4. I'm about as politically incorrect as you can get. I'm wearing an NRA ball cap, eating a Chick-fil-A sandwich, reading a Paula Deen cookbook and sipping a 20-ounce sweet tea while sitting in my Cracker Barrel rocking chair with the Gaither Vocal Band singing 'Jesus Saves' on the stereo and a Gideon's Bible in my pocket. Yes sir, I'm politically incorrect and happy as a June bug.

5. If the folks coming across the border were evangelical Christians hoping to homeschool their kids, Obama would call out the Marines.

6. God is under no obligation to protect people from eternal destruction, not even for one moment. It doesn't matter how religious someone is or how much they pray. Until they believe in Christ, God is not obligated in any way to protect them.

Spot the Not #7 - study says...

All of the following are real studies except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. Liberals Are Better at Grammar

2. Liberals have less self-control because they are less likely to believe they have self-control

3. Are Liberals Smarter? Study Indicates The Answer Is Yes

4. Study finds those with graduate education are far more liberal than peers

5. Study: Conservatives and liberals smell different

6. Study finds liberals are happier than conservatives

Spot the Not #6 - ISIS execution methods

All of the following were used by ISIS for execution except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. beheaded via explosives

2. buried alive

3. frozen to death

4. burned alive

5. crushed by tank

6. impaled

Spot the Not #5 - Valerie Solanas, author of the SCUM Manifesto

Below is a list of quotes. All of them are from her except one. Can you Spot the Not?

1. It is now technically feasible to reproduce without the aid of males (or, for that matter, females) and to produce only females. We must begin immediately to do so. Retaining the male has not even the dubious purpose of reproduction.

2. Every man, deep down, knows he's a worthless piece of shit.

3. To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he's a machine, a walking dildo. It's often said that men use women. Use them for what? Surely not pleasure.

4. To be male is to be deficient, emotionally limited; maleness is a deficiency disease and males are emotional cripples.

5. The only good thing men ever invented was castration.

6. What will liberate women, therefore, from male control is the total elimination of the money-work system, not the attainment of economic equality with men within it.

Spot the Not #4 - the real people who were the inspiration for James Bond

Below is a list of biographies. All of them are real except one I made up. Can you Spot the Not?

1. The MI6 head of station in Paris, he would regularly dine at Maxim's; he drove an armour-plated Rolls-Royce and dressed in handmade suits and Cartier cufflinks. He was a bon viveur who enjoyed attractive women and fast cars.

2. He spent much of the Second World War behind enemy lines in Yugoslavia. He survived assassination attempts and single-handedly blew up an Italian ship.

3. He became a fighter pilot in WWI by cheating on an eye exam. An expert card player, he made a fortune in Monte Carlo in the 1930s. During WW2, he used his own yacht to rescue British soldiers who were trapped at Dunkirk.

4. He ran away from his wealthy family at an early age to go to Canada where he worked as a trapper and professional boxer. At the outbreak of war, he worked in then-neutral Bucharest where he killed two German agents who were trying to assassinate him.

5. He was a distinguished British Secret Intelligence Officer, decorated army officer, skier, mountaineer, linguist, traveler and artist. He was also a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. His MI6 code name was C.

6. He was a British field agent. His missions for the SOE involved him parachuting multiple times in enemy occupied France, having dinner with Nazis, the use of disguises, being captured and interrogated by the Gestapo before escaping, shooting an enemy agent, as well as having relationships with different women.

Spot the Not #3 - wacky censorship

Below is a list of censorship cases. All of them are real except one which I made up. Can you Spot the Not?

1. It is illegal to own a typewriter in Cuba without a license.

2. The Weird Al song "Don't Download this Song" was censored by MTV because it mentioned the names of file sharing sites.

3. It is illegal in China to mention the date of the Tiananmen Square massacre.

4. It is illegal in Germany to draw a swastika with a "no" symbol on top of it.

5. An episode of Star Trek the Next Generation was censored in the UK because it called the IRA's terror campaign a success.

6. It is illegal in India to use the phrase "new and improved" in advertising.

Spot the Not #2 - translated scientific names

Below is a list of scientific names translated to English. All of them are real except one I made up. Can you Spot the Not?

1. potato buffalo flamingo

2. the creature from the black lagoon

3. giant deformed penis

4. little chief nipple twister

5. itty bitty thing

6. Owen's ninja turtle

Spot the Not #1 - Famous wrong predictions

Below is a set of quotes. All of them are real except one which I made up. Can you spot the not?

1. This "telephone" has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. 

2. Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.

3. Electricity is merely a scientific curiosity; it has no practical applications. 

4. I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

5. Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value.

6. The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon.

7. I do not believe the introduction of motor-cars will ever affect the riding of horses.

8. Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.