The land of Gadzookshagen was fair and fertile
Ruled by King Frumtingle, so noble and wise
Its people feasted on the local skrunt turtle
Its meat was rich but went straight to their thighs
All was well until a huge horde on horseback
Pillaged and plundered and burned all they could
They stole all the skrunt turtles in the attack
A litotes would be things weren't looking good
King Frumtingle knew it was time for a speech
He rallied his knights and put on his armor
"Remember, lads, the Battle of Plovfeech!"
Bellowed the king as he tried to yell louder
"Let's hunt down these knaves and teach them a lesson
That Gadzookshageners are men of faith and courage
We are masters of arms and also mindless aggression
For our testosterone levels are far above average!"
Arose from the men such a thunderous shout
Which echoed from the hills to the camp of the horde
King Frumtingle rode hard in spite of his gout
It was battle he loved and most else made him bored
The king and his men caught horde off guard
They hacked, hewed, bludgeoned, and impaled
The carnage would retold in the song of a bard
Some made a last stand, but the rest of them bailed
In triumph they returned with their cold-blooded booty
A fest was prepared for the return of the valiant
The warriors were pleased for they had done their duty
The king had fought so hard that his sword got bent
Some stories have morals, and this is the case
Sometimes in life, the rules must be tossed
You get more with words when you're holding a mace
So be a tough customer or else you'll get bossed
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