Titanic Understatement

Priorities

New Law Will Allow Eldery to Serve in Combat

WASHINGTON (FPA)- In a mid-morning press conference, the Joint Chiefs of Staff officially anounces the repeal of the military's maximum enlistment age. "For too long, our nation's eldery have been prohibited from serving in combat roles, merely because they lack the strength, endurance, reaction time, and resistance to injury of young men. This new policy will finally end the many decades of official discrimination" General Martin Dempsey spoke.

General Dempsey also reiterated his earlier call for boxing associations to ban weight classes "because there's no reason a 135-lb lightweight can't hold his own against a 250 heavyweight."

 

Food Stamp Usage Map

Counties with the most white people on food stamps, 2009

Counties with the most black people on food stamps, 2009