Snake Fang

No wizard's life is complete without a fang from every deadly creature, and the hardest one of all to collect was not that of the mighty dragon, or the deadly boojum bird, but of the lowly serpent. The serpents in the land of this tale were both very few, large, wise, and fierce. No amount of magic could help a wizard against a serpent's venom, and in any case, the great beasts were immune to all spells. Instead, it was necessary to take them by deception and stratagem, though there were a luck few who merely snatched a fang from the mouth of a yawning, monstrous snake. The "hey, look over there!" trick paired with a decent club was also occasionally successful, though the odds were basically 50-50 between getting a fang and becoming a snake snack. Aside from those two techniques, almost nothing else worked, and this was the cause of Fladnag's despair.

Wizards live a long time, practically forever if they take care of themselves. Nonetheless, a wizard who has completed his fang collection by a certain age, 400 years perhaps, is viewed negatively by his peers. They have many terms for the condition, and none of them are flattering. Fladnag was definitely a late bloomer, as he was now almost 500 years old. Oh, how he felt the weight of his age and the uncomfortable, judgmental stares of other wizards. Even so, he was determined to solve his predicament, no matter how long it took. And so, he first gathered every book that said anything about snakes and retired to his study. Every day for the next 10 years, he spent his every waking hour reading about not just giant serpents, but snakes of all sorts. It is exaggeration to say that after his epic reading endeavor was complete, he knew more about legless reptiles than any wizard who ever lived.

The reading, however, was merely phase one, as true knowledge only comes from application. For the next 10 years, Fladnag searched high and low for serpents, not to harvest fangs, but merely to observe them in their natural habitats. Through jungles, swamps, and caves, he deliberately stalked them and studied every aspect of their behavior. He learned, for instance, when and how they feed, which were nocturnal, and which were the most aggressive. From this, he was able to conclude that despite a broadly similar appearance, in habit, each of the scaly beasts was a unique individual. Therefore, he concluded, it is theoretically possible to harvest a fang from any snake provided the circumstances are right. Those circumstances became the next phase of his long inquiry, and the painful price it required was associating with his fellow magi. 

Despite his qualms, Flandag was able to find a fellow who was in a similar predicament. Nilrem was his name, and he enjoyed a good reputation in general for his generosity and courage. Nilrem had had many unsuccessful attempts to defang a serpent in his 450 years, but that neither deterred nor despaired him. Every day, he had something encourage to say with his new companion. 

"Flandag, old chum, you simply must not give up hope. I have a sneaking suspicion this fang business doesn't matter much anyway."

This came as shock to Flandag, not because he had not thought the same thing himself many times, but because this was the first day he had heard any wizard say it out loud.

"It is odd that with all this phenomenal cosmic power, and far more worthy tasks to devote our energy to, so many of us fret about a scavenger hunt."

"Exactly, old chum. Do you remember when we were boys? Long before all the magic, dragon-slaying, battles, and what-not?"

"It was all so long ago. Sometimes it seems I was born a wizard."

"Same here, but we all know that isn't true. We started training when we were boys and left our families behind. In almost all cases, that meant never having families of our own."

"It seems that once one leaves the wizarding life behind, all that remains is death. And yet it happens anyway."

"I have a wild idea, and I beg you to consider it. Let's found our own guild with our own rules. The one and only rule is collecting is optional. Besides, snakes are supposed to have fangs. They have a much harder time getting by with just own. The same goes for all the other creatures of our realm. If someone absolutely must have them, it's far easier and more humane just collect such things after the animal is dead."

It was such a brilliant suggestion Flandag was shocked no one else had thought of it before.

"That's an excellent point. And our guild could focus on defeating the forces of evil rather than some silly game of one-upmanship. The proper use of magic is helping people, who rely on us."

"It's settled then. Today marks the foundation of the Snake Fang Wizard Guild."

"How should we go about recruiting new members?"

"Don't worry about that. If we're on the right path, others will come join us."

Their first order of business was to help serpents evade bloodthirsty wizards. The serpents were so grateful they offered their services as informants. Soon enough, the Snake Fang Wizard Guild, though still quite small, was far and away the best informed and most powerful. Word spread throughout the animal kingdom of the new paradigm, and with that, the guild had all of the most powerful creatures on their side. It was quickly becoming a magical monopoly, and all the forces of evil were more reluctant than ever to leave the shadows. 

Once in a great while, a demonic army would rise up and plague the world for a time, but their doom was certain even before the first battle was fought. In this way, the realm enjoyed long stretches of peace whereby all its residents, wizard, mortal, and animal alike lived in tranquility. It all came to pass through the simple act of trying something new.