It's amusing that odyssey refers to a dangerous journey named after its sole survivor. That story has always spoken powerfully to me. About 4 years ago, I applied to be an NSA codebreaker after having spent the previous 2.5 years working for them as an Arabic linguist while in the Army. My application is still under consideration, though I doubt very much I'll ever get an offer for reasons I'll explain later.
In March of 2021, I suspected that NSA was spying on me and manipulating my electronics. I know for a fact they do this routinely because I watched them do it to others and read their reports about it. Later events confirmed that for me beyond a reasonable doubt. At first, I thought that perhaps they were trying to pacify and rehabilitate me or mold me into someone they found acceptable. Later, I concluded they were more likely trying silence, provoke, and discredit me. They've done such things before. See the case of William Binney for an example.
I'd take a job if they offered one, though I have little enthusiasm for it now. The traffic near NSA HQ in Fort Meade would give me cancer of the soul. I'm open to using my abilities for the good of national security under any kind of arrangement. At heart, I'm still a patriotic man mostly. I've returned to welding after 4 years of hiatus. It's figuratively and literally more constructive than anything I did at NSA, or even my life in general, though I am always open to other possibilities.
How odd it all turned out. I have all these exotic achievements under my belt: Eagle Scout, chemical engineering degree from a full scholarship, Peace Corps, Army, and NSA. If I was a smarter man, I'd have realized at a younger age that high achievement is often me with indifference, scorn, or jealousy. Schopenhauer had wise words on that:
Even so, I don't regret my efforts at pursuing greatness. You find what you look for. A better way of phrasing that is you go on a journey to get what you want and find what you need along the way.
There are times when I've pondered thoughts of revenge against my various tormentors. I try to remember that it's better to just move on and enjoy life. I have other, more important goals than getting even, becoming a father and homeowner chief among them. The truth always comes out in the end anyway, and the moral arc of the universe bends toward justice.
I don't like making threats or ultimatums, but I will note my abundant patience is finite. Hopefully it never runs out. In my experience, people won't leave you alone until you give them a compelling reason. I prefer to defeat my enemies by making them into friends.
The harassment has dropped off greatly since 2023. It mostly consists of my internet mysteriously getting jammed and an inexplicable number of YouTube ads about living with schizophrenia. It's all so tiresome. Whatever. If they're trying to break me, it's not going to work. I've been through a lot more than most.
Below is the strongest piece of evidence I have for what I've claimed. I made that video at my apartment in Augusta, Georgia in the spring of 2022. The same sequence of events happened every time I locked or unlocked my apartment door for weeks.
At this point, I just want to be a free spirit living peace.
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