Hired Raygun - part 1

It was the job young men took when they couldn't get anything else. There was always a need for fresh meat for the grinder. The handful of ones who came back alive brought great riches, mostly in the form of alien technology. The rest came back in bits and pieces, if they came back at all. None of the veterans said much about what happened out there, mainly because most of their memories had been wiped. That was a gesture of kindness, and perhaps foresight, on the part of the recruiters. 

Like many others, being an interstellar mercenary wasn't my first choice. After a few years of meandering after high school, I decided it was time, so I went to the recruitment office at the local starport. There were hundreds of them scattered throughout the world. They were staffed by robots, and the enlistment process was extremely efficient. In the vast majority of cases, new recruits were shipped off to a battle on another planet within hours of signing their contracts. Unlike most militaries, instead sending off troops in large batches, they preferred to recruit individuals continuously.

Who were they? Good question. Because of translation difficulties, it was hard to tell exactly who they were. The best explanation was that they were an alliance of various intelligent species seeking to maintain their empire, which stretched across countless worlds. Many of them were humanoids of various races while others had radically different anatomy and biochemistry, including reptilian, amphibian, avian, fungoid, etc. There were also various factions of androids which had formed independent civilizations. For short, humans just called them all "oids". 

My family and friends organized a special farewell dinner for me. It was a somber occasion given what everyone knew about the odds of my safe return. As I was somewhat at a loss for words, I merely promised them that I'd do my best to come back alive. After that, I retired to my room to pack my things and drown my sorrows. It seemed likely that alcohol would be hard to come by for a long time after I was off world.  

I took very little with me, as I figured they'd confiscate certain things and provide me with whatever I actually needed anyway. Aside from the clothes on my back, I took a folding knife, a lighter, a pocket-sized tablet with a camera and some e-books and video games loaded on it. It could be charged with body heat as well as light, so it was a good option for travel to outer space. I wanted to keep a record of my experiences. If there was no way to avoid having my memory wiped, perhaps at least they would not delete any of the files on my tablet. It was a long shot, but it was my only hope. 

My parents drove me to the starport, and I said my farewells to them there. Not sure how I held back my tears when my parents couldn't. I've always been the stoic type. The automatic gate opened, and I followed the flashing arrows on the ground. At the first station, flashing lights in the shape of footprints directed me where to stand while another set indicated that I should place my hands on the wall. There was some humming and whirring as some tentacle-shaped devices snaked out the floor and scanned me. Also, I barely felt pricks in the palms of my hands. I presume they needed a blood sample for both ID and to determine my nutritional needs. I suspected they also injected me with a tracking device. Anyway, when I took my hands off the wall, I saw that my palms had been tattooed with bizarre symbols.

I had also felt a strange warm sensation on the bottom of my feet. Later, when I went to check, I saw the soles of my feet had also been tattooed. Throughout the whole induction process, not a word was spoken to me. It was odd at first, but I gradually got used to it. Everything was self-explanatory. The oids had gotten very good with non-verbal communication from interacting with a huge variety of races and cultures. Later, I would come to learn the universal sign language that had become the lingua franca of the galaxy.

I followed more flashing arrows to a room where a plain gray jumpsuit had been laid out. A set of flashing arrows directed to a bin, where I presume, I had to put my clothes and belongings. I did so and donned the jumpsuit. It seemed to adjust automatically to my frame, as though the fabric was smart. At this station, a tablet-like device was strapped to my left forearm. When I looked at the screen, I saw a grid of emoji-type symbols. It reminded me of the pointy-talky pamphlets soldiers used to communicate overseas during the 21st century. A picture is worth a thousand words, especially when travel is measured in lightyears. 

More flashing lights beckoning me to follow. They guided me to a chair with a bunch of harnesses. Time to blast off, I guess. I was strapped in automatically. In the distance, I heard a distant rumble build to a crescendo. I lost consciousness from the acceleration. When I came to, I was released from the chair and got my first taste of weightlessness. More arrows to follow. I passed through a sliding automatic door. There were various handles on the walls of the corridor, and I was able to use them to propel myself. At last, I reached a small cabin. There was a porthole in the wall. Through it, I was able to see the earth. It appeared to be the size of a tennis ball and was shrinking fast into the empty blackness.

A chirping sound from a device on the wall got my attention. I pushed a flashing button. A small compartment in the wall opened revealing my meager possessions sealed in a kind of plastic. I presume they had been inspected and sterilized. More chirps. I pushed another button near what looked like a drawer. After a few moments, the drawer opened. There was what appeared to be a tray of food inside. Though I was hungry, I had never eaten in zero gravity before. The tray was secured to the bottom of the drawer with something like Velcro. It made a quiet ripping sound as I tore the tray loose. 

I inspected the contents. There were a few objects that looked like toothpaste tubes. I opened one and squeezed out some orange gel. It tasted OK, so I ate the whole thing. The color reminded me of salmon and the taste was like a combo of peanut butter and shrimp. Very savory, but did I really want to know what it was made of? Whatever. As long as it kept me alive. It was well past time for me to adjust to living without the comforts of home. There was a foil pouch with what looked like a straw taped on. It reminded me a little of a popular juice brand I drank as a kid. It wasn't pure water, but it was nearly tasteless. A few minutes after I drank it, I started feeling a little woozy. It must have been spiked with tranquilizers or some other drug.

Oddly enough, though I began to feel sleepy, somehow my focus improved. I suddenly noticed a poster on the wall. It took me a few minutes to realize it was a primer on mathematical symbols. It was a base 10 counting system which made it easier to learn. There were four other symbols for the basic arithmetic operations. I quickly realized that the symbols corresponding to plus and minus could also mean "yes" and "no". There were also symbols that obviously corresponded to an equal sign and a question mark. That would make communication a lot easier, though so far I hadn't met anyone to have a conversation with. There were two bunks in the room with the sleeping bag attached for the mattress. I crawled in as it became impossible to keep my eyes open. Whatever was in that liquid had a similar effect as quality marijuana. It was a strong high, but without the paranoia. I had trippy dreams. 

My childhood and early life came flooding back to me. There memories of birthday parties, bad grades, sick days, family vacations, and Christmas presents. It all blurred together. It occurred to me that I hadn't experienced very many hardships or challenges in my life, except for a few long hikes and camping trips. There were also memories of shooting an antique AR-15. It was a family heirloom that belonged to my great-grandfather. He told me stories about how he used to protect himself during the hungry years. Those were tough times of plague, famine, and war. Many governments collapsed. Perhaps the weakened state of human civilization is what enticed the oids to visit earth during that time. We were ripe for the picking. 

Aside from a few unpleasant dreams, I awoke feeling relaxed and refreshed. When I looked toward the food dispenser, I saw that I now had a companion. The creature was taller than me, about six feet tall with a muscular build, dark green scaly skin that I could see, and a prehensile tail. It turned to look at me, and I saw that its mouth was more like a spider's with a large pair of mandibles and several pairs of what I assumed were its eyes. I now understood why I had been drugged. Had I been in my right mind, fear and shock would have been my natural response to the sight of the creature. It tapped the screen on its left arm, as if to signal it wished for me to use mine. I held mine up for it to see.

It spent the next minute or two scrolling through various emojis, I presume because it was looking for the best one for its initial message. It tapped its screen a few times, and then waved me over to look at it. I saw a star, a planet with rings, a crescent moon, and the question mark symbol. I guessed it was asking me to describe the planet and star system I came from. It took me several minutes to find all the appropriate symbols. Eventually, I typed out the following:

star + planet x 8

Then

planet x 3 + moon

I pointed to myself after that and gestured for it to respond. It wrote:

star + planet x 1

Then

planet + moon x 4

Then 

moon x 2

It pointed to itself. So its kind lived on one of the four moons in a star system with one planet. Interesting. So far, this had been easier than I expected. It made a sound like a gurgle and a roar while pointing at itself. I guessed it was telling me its name, so I did likewise. It was clear neither of us could possibly pronounce the other's language, so our names became our star system descriptions. I was "8 planets 3rd planet 1 moon" and it was "1 planet 4 moons 2nd moon". It turned out that all of our cohorts decided upon the same system, and since there were never more than a few dozen of us in the same place at the same time, the names were unique enough. Later, we shortened our names to just 3 numbers. I was 831 and it was 142. It was appropriate, as we were both prisoners for the duration, so to say.  

So we had established names for ourselves and built some rapport. Not bad for two aliens meeting for the first time in outer space. There was a chime and more flashing arrows beckoning us to leave our cabin. We followed them to a midsize room with what appeared to be weapons on the wall. It seemed the ship was equipped with an indoor shooting range. My eyes were drawn to a rifle that looked like a swordfish. It was neon blue and hummed when I picked it up. I floated over to some foot straps on the floor so I could keep a steady position. When I was situated, a pillar just to my right rose out of the floor and dispensed a glob of silver liquid. The swordfish gun sucked it in somehow and made a kind of whistling sound while it glowed menacingly.