I found a way to balance the typewriter on my torso so that I could work while lying in bed rather than hunched over in a chair. The famous composer Rossini was extraordinarily lazy and wrote music in bed. Once he accidentally dropped the sheet he'd been working on onto the floor, and not wanting to get out of bed to pick it up, decided that part of the overture wasn't so great anyway, and started over. Later, a friend picked up the sheet and returned it to him. Rossini turned it into a completely different piece. Laziness and creativity often go together. I like to say that efficiency is merely intelligent laziness.
Once while typing in bed, the scent of mushroom and anchovy pizza filled my nostrils. I was compelled to get up and investigate. The pizza box was open on the kitchen table and a small fan was near it and blowing in the direction of the room I'd just left. Taped to the fan was a note that said:
***
Ha!
-Alexandra
***
She planned that operation with military precision. I felt lucky to have such a wife.
Things were a bit tense on election night. We decided to watch the results come in at home with a few of our campaign staff. We were a bit below 50% at first, and as the hours went by, we inched closer and closer to victory. A few minutes after midnight, it was announced that we'd won. Catherine was asleep, so we couldn't get too rowdy. We toasted with champagne, chatted for a bit, and bid our guests farewell.
"Well, the hard part's over, my dear. Congrats. Now the real fun can begin. Also, I'd like to quit my NSA job."
"Permission granted", she said with an imperious wave of her hand.
A few months later, she was sworn in along with the other congress critters elected the previous November. It was cold, and I had little Cathy all bundled up as I held her. Fortunately, the cold weather meant no one wanted to give long speeches, and the ceremony finished quickly. Then it was off to view Alexandra's office and her actual seat in the Capitol.
It was amusing watching Alexandra plop down in her office chair. She looked she had just been crowned empress of China. I took a souvenir photo of her at her seat in the House of Representatives. Later I displayed on my bedside nightstand so I could look at it when I was writing.
We returned to her office to plan our next moves, literally and figuratively. I suggested we move from Fort Meade to a nearby apartment. There's a lot to be said for having a short commute. We'd soon be living in the big city. She was more interested in expanding her influence.
"OK, Napoleon. What's next?"
"You need to become a ranking member on a committee or two. The more the better, really. The Appropriations Committee is the most important in terms of spending, but the Defense Committee or the Foreign Relations Committee are also good. To get on a committee, you need to start networking with both like-minded representatives and moderates on the other side of the aisle. The basic game is: vote for my stuff and I'll vote for your stuff. Lobbyists will come by once in a while. The trick to avoiding corruption charges is to never ask them for anything. If they want to wine and dine you, great, but don't squeeze them for anything. It's an easy game to win as long as you do little and do it slowly. Move too fast and you'll make enemies. Our money worries are over anyway."
"How do you plan on keeping busy?"
"Mostly, I'll be staying home and taking care of Cathy. And I'll keep writing. I thought about getting into journalism, but I'd prefer to avoid accusations of a conflict of interest. I think I'll stick writing short fiction and maybe writing the occasional article on military matters for a think tank."
"Should we have more kids?"
"I think at least one more. Call me a genetic chauvinist if you want, but I'd like to have a son."
"He'll be a great man if he turns out anything like you. Even if he does talk like a dork."
"I can't argue that. We should talk more about what you plan on doing."
This was always the best way to get her good side. She loved talking about her plans.
"Let's order some food and eat it here. What are you thinking?"
"Pizza or Chinese."
"Why not both?"
"Even better. In anticipation of this moment, I did some recon", I said as I handed her two takeout menus with the phone numbers and what I wanted circled. She called the places, and it was amusing to hear her confirm several times that yes, she wanted it delivered to the Capitol. I decided to wait for the food on the Capitol steps as Alexandra and Cathy warmed up inside. It was the sort of weather that me thankful for having a beard and long hair. As I sat on the steps, I admired the Washington Monument in the distance. The flags around its base were illuminated. I hadn't felt patriotic for a while, but that sight nearly moved me to tears. The two delivery guys came almost simultaneously. I paid them both and returned to Alexandra's office with the feast.
She was breast-feeding Cathy when I arrived. "The best eat first" she said when I walked in. I had forgotten to bring any milk for Cathy. Fortunately, Mother Nature provided an alternative.
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