I, Soldier - part 10

"What do you think about communism?"

"I think it's bad because it brings bad results. They talk big about helping everyone, but it always turns into a dictatorship with a secret police. It's more popular overseas because the group mentality is stronger in most other countries vs America. What do you think about politics, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Look at my clothes, smart guy. Do you think I'm with the College Republicans or something?"

"Fair point."

"Are you religious?"

"My parents raised me on the Bible, and it left a dent. I think Christianity is a beautiful and inspiring religion. It's a shame that so many of its most prominent members are so thoroughly unrespectable."

"You didn't answer my question."

"Sorry. I thought I did. I'm not a praying man and I haven't set foot in a church in years. Hands that help are better than lips that pray."

"What do you think about the civil rights movement?"

"I'm all for it and I hope they keep winning. This guy I trained with, Barry Delmar, really swell guy. There aren't a lot of black officers, and they often get treated like shit. I haven't seen him since we were in officer training. When I get out, I'd like to visit him and his family. They live in a town called Amity in Washington state. He told me about it."

"For a guy who has such a casual attitude about death and destruction, you're surprisingly friendly and charming."

"Yeah, I get that a lot. Well, on second thought, actually no, not really."

"What do you think about feminism?"

"They have legitimate grievances. It took way too long for women to get the right to vote. On the flip side, I'll add that if they really want equality, they should be protesting for the right to get drafted and sent off to kill and die, same as young men."

"So you're really going back for another two years? Can't you go AWOL or something? Pretend you're nuts or gay so they discharge you?"

"Sorry, that's just not my style. Plus I don't want to give the rat bastards the satisfaction. I thank the good lord for every heart beat I get. It beats the alternative."

"I thought you weren't religious."

"The first time I heard someone say 'there are no atheists in foxholes', I was tempted to yell out: a lot guys become atheists after what they see in foxholes, you dumb motherfucker!"

"Have you slept with anyone overseas?"

"No, but the whores there come at me like flies on shit. I lie and tell them I have a wife back home so they leave me alone."

"Do you drink or do drugs?"

"I didn't touch a drop of alcohol til I turned 21. Over there, I smoke a lot opium and marijuana. It keeps my nerves steady."

"Pot. Here, it's called pot, J Edgar Hoover. Christ, the stick up your butt must have a stick up *its* butt."

"Meh, gives me good posture. You know, the Army gives tranquilizers and other drugs to soldiers, especially snipers. Diazepam is a muscle relaxant. It helps you hold still for a long time."

"Our tax dollars hard at work, I guess."

"You're funny. Most people can't handle my fucked-up stories or think I'm making it all up."

"Buddy, I spent 1twoyears in Catholic school. That place was pretty fucked up too."

"I can only imagine how much that must have sucked for someone like you. At least guys have more leeway to threaten and defend themselves."

"Is this just a fling? A one-night stand? Am I ever going to see you again?"

"Normally I'm a hit and quit kind of guy, but I see something more long term with you."

"Smooth move, Romeo."

"I'm serious. I'm tired of the John Wayne bullshit. All I want now is a steady paycheck, a wife, and kids. Assuming I survive the war, that is."

"The way you're talking isn't normal. Your face doesn't look normal. You do realize that right?"

"For me, normality is a vague and distant memory. Some German guy said when you stare into the abyss, it stares back into you. He also said life is wandering without purpose. Not exactly a merry ray of sunshine, that guy."

"Nietzsche. The syphlitic, existentialist philosopher. He once broke down in tears after seeing a horse get whipped. Personally, I think he was secretly a really smart, sweet guy."

"Me too. I can relate to him. Weird, right?"

Not long after that, we drifted off to sleep. I've never slept better. I awoke to sound of birds chirping and the sight of early morning sunshine pouring into the room through the gaps in the blinds. It was a kind of resurrection. She rolled over and spoke. 

"You hungry? I'm dying for some avocado toast."

"Sounds good. I haven't had a good cup of coffee in forever."

"Let's walk and talk. Tell me more about the war."

"We got Charlie on the ropes in the Central Highlands. Things are going to hell in a handbasket everywhere else though."

"Charlie? Like the cartoon tuna fish?"

"No, Charlie is short for Victor Charlie, which is VC in the Army alphabet. VC is short for Viet Cong which means red Vietnamese, that is communist Vietnamese."

"Interesting. I did not know that. Can you speak Vietnamese?"

"Yeah. Learned it at the Defense Language Institute in California. They've been churning out lots of Vietnamese linguists lately."

"Well that's good. Do you know any other languages?"

"I studied Russian in college as it seems to be the most important foreign language these days. Once I get out of the Army, I'll try to get some government job. Failing that, I might just become a freelance translator. There's a lot of great science fiction being written in Russian and very little of it gets translated. I suppose I could try to be a diplomat to Vietnam later. Regardless of who wins, we're going to have relations with them."

"You have a lot of interesting options, but your mental health worries me."

"Yeah. It's why I plan on getting out of the Army in after my last two years are up. And you? What are your plans?"

"I'd like to get into politics, but it'll be a hell of an uphill battle."

"Uphill battles, literal and figurative, are my specialty. Over there, I spend most of my time waging political and psychological warfare. It gets better results than overkill through carpet bombing and such. Let's walk and talk some more over by the James Rumsey monument. If you haven't seen it before, I think you'll like it."